Drunk Last Night and Can't Remember? Understand Blackouts and Learn What Causes Alcohol Related Memory Loss
93
What are alcohol blackouts?
Alcohol blackouts are periods of lost memory during times of alcohol intoxication. Although the terms blacking out and passing out are often interchanged and confused, passing out actually refers to a loss of consciousness, while people who later blackout on memories were fully conscious and often carried out complex events during the time of their memory blackout.
You can't blackout on memories formed while unconscious…there aren’t any to miss!
No one would know to look at an intoxicated person during a time of memory blackout that he or she was in fact in a memory blackout.
Fragmentary and Complete Blackouts
There are 2 types of alcohol induced blackouts – fragmentary and total. People who have experienced a fragmentary blackout may not recall the events of a period of intoxication until they are reminded or cued about them.
- "Remember jumping into the pool last night with your clothes on?"
- "Oh my, I'm starting to remember that now…I can’t believe I did that!"
People who have experienced a total blackout will not remember, even with memory cues, any of the events that occurred during the period of the memory blackout.
- "Remember jumping into the pool with your clothes on?"
- "What pool?"
Blackouts can last for hours or even days. Memory blackouts do not affect memories formed prior to the onset of drunkenness.
Why Does Alcohol Cause Blackouts?
Alcohol is a systematic drug that affects nearly all systems of the brain. The hippocampus, a primary area of memory formation and retrieval, is no exception.
What seems to happen is that alcohol disrupts the brain's ability to consolidate short term memories and process them into long term memories.
We have 3 types of memory.
- Process or immediate memory
- Short term memory
- Long term memory
Process memory lasts only a few seconds, and allows us to perform daily tasks with ease.
Short term memories are slightly more significant, and are stored in the brain for a few minutes.
Short term memories that are very significant, and that are "practiced or thought about quite a lot" are moved into long term storage.
Alcohol seems to block the brain's ability to take salient short term memories and move them into long term storage.
What this means is that since short term memory storage is unaffected, an intoxicated person can maintain a conversation as per normal (Where the flow of the conversation rarely demands that you recall facts for more than a few minutes) but if asked to recall events of an hour before, or the night before, the intoxicated person would have much more trouble.
Is the Occurrence of Blackouts a Sign of Alcoholism?
Much popular literature holds that alcohol blackouts are a warning sign of alcoholism. This is false.
While blackouts are a warning sign of binge drinking, there is no evidence that people who experience blackouts are at any increased risk to develop an alcohol addiction.
The mistaken belief that blackouts cause alcoholism seems to originate out of early research on blackouts that was performed using subjects from AA meetings. Since most AA members reported having had blackouts, it was concluded falsely that blackouts were a sign of alcoholism (Sort or like…since almost all AA members wear shoes – wearing shoes must be a sign of alcoholism!)
What Influences the Occurrence of Blackouts?
Blackouts, like memory in general, are a very poorly understood phenomenon. Research indicates that genetic variables influence the experience (Some people who drink at alcoholic levels never seem to experience blackouts) and the speed of onset of intoxication also seems to influence the occurrence.
The faster you drink, and the faster your blood alcohol level rises, the more likely you are to experience a blackout.
 | Amazon Price: $5.21 List Price: $17.95 |
 | Amazon Price: $7.00 List Price: $14.95 |
 | Amazon Price: $3.75 List Price: $14.95 |
 | Amazon Price: $9.18 List Price: $16.00 |
vote upvote downsharePrintflag
- Useful (36)
- Funny (5)
- Awesome (5)
- Beautiful (4)
- Interesting (5)
CommentsLoading...
It can be incredibly frustrating to the friends and family of the person experiencing blackouts as well. They don't remember things that happened and conversations that were had, but sometimes things done and said are forever etched into everyone else's mind. The drunk gets to live without those memories.
Thanks for setting the record straight. I had been under the impression that only alcoholics have blackouts, not normal drinkers. I would say this, however. If you are drinking to the point of not remembering key things you did on a regular basis (as KCC says above) it might be a warning sign to slow down or stop drinking. Losing that much time in your life -- including doing stupid and dangerous things while in a blackout state -- is not healthy!
But so often they proclaim the "what happens at the bar stays at the bar" kind of attitude. It's been my experience that they believe there is an unwritten rule amongst drinkers that you never ever tell a drunk what he did while he was drinking. Drinking gives them permission to be, do and say anything and they have a "get out of jail" card because they can claim they were drunk. It makes me sick!
To summarize this:
Eher you stop drinking alcohol at all or you drink (a lot of them but) at a slow pace, reducing the speed of your brain of being drunken.
I wouldn't say that just because someone blacks out when drinking they're an alcoholic. With that said, a ton of alcoholics I know "say" they've never had blackouts. I'm a recovered alcoholic (3 years) and I've always said... "I wasn't a blackout drinker..." But when I really start to look back and as my recovery perspective changes, there were times when I don't remember getting home or people telling stories about me that I don't remember. It can be frustrating for friends and family who like KCC said have memories "etched" in their minds.
From the emotional side of the drinker, that is part of the pain of doing such things. If we are alcoholic, we feel remorse and embarassment for acting those ways and "finding out" the next day what we did yet we continue to do it. Over and over. People stop hanging out with us, we alienate ourselves from others... and for me, I eventually just stopped even going out anymore. There's a lot of different emotional and mental aspects to all of this... too much to get into here.
so i had a blackout but are you sayin i will eventually remember wat the f**k happened? even tho i have a rubbish short term memory, for various reasons/drugs?
I used to drink and I never understood blackouts because I never had them but for me once I started drinking more there are many times now where I had been drinking alot mostly with hard alcohol or mixed drinks and shots that people tell me stuff that happened and after a certain point I have no memory at all of what happened and when told about it later I have no idea what they are talking about.
That looks pretty rough... I wonder how many crazed drunks have impregnated others while being intoxicated & out of their mind, and to top it off...not even remember it. Yikes!
why the hell does this keeep happenning to me does the use mdmda play part in this effect, because everytime mix the two i have tendency of blacking outa? I really don't like it?
@da bat
Stop if you don't like it?
you guys are retarded. let people drink and if you dont like it then leave. Stupid people impregnate other stupid people on a regular basis without alcohol. results in a stupid population. like you.
Having no memory of an event, in my opinion, short ciciuts your ability to have the proper emetional response when confronted with actions later. Maybe I'm part sociopath but I have a really hard time feeling bad for doing something I have no memory of. By the way my blackouts are total.
would u call me an alcoholic? i blackout (total) and when i blackout it seems i go crazy n high school i could manage but now im blacking out a lot and doing stuff that im aahamed of... i dont impregnate nobody though i just get outta hand. but i keep drinking knowing im gonna blackout and wake up in jail, again, without any memory of how i got there... shit i guess i am an alcoholic
i have recently been getting blackouts more and more, i only drink once or twice a week and then also only a couple beers and maybe a few shots. i also don't like it but i don't feel i drink too much, i don't know what to do, i want to be able to have a couple but know where my limit is. is there nothing you can take that might be able to help.
also read my blog my game if you guys don't mind. cheers
Excellent awareness article! I have heard people complaining about alcohol blackouts. I wish people understand the consequences of alcoholism and stop drinking.
Yesterday I had sex with her,she confirmed she love me and she has been in love with me from first sight but we did what we did when she was drunk,she said all she said in the same state.Tomorrow when I asked her she said she is not in love with me and to be honest "I DON"T REMEMBER ANYTHING".Is this a hoax or some people loose memory completly when they get drunk ??
Last week I went out and can't even remember leaving the pub. I found out today that I was coming on to my boyfriends mates and that one of them had to carry me home. Good job I was with nice people or who knows what could have happened?
I was taking anti-depressants and had also smoked a lot of cannabis which didn't help.
I feel really bad about this now I know. I had a bad feeling about Friday and have not touched a drop of alcohol, cigarette or even an anti-depressant since.
My partner is understanding due to the depression, thank goodness. I could have ruined my relationship.
The worst thing about this is that I am mortified about what I did. I am a shy person and would never behave like this normally. It is really hard to avoid alcohol when it is all around you but I am going to try and keep this up and lead a healthy lifestyle from now on.
I have blackouts and I wish I didn't, because when I drink I feel really good. Especially at a certain point and most of the times I can remember this point I wish I could keep that point, but a lot of the times it just goes over that point.
Two days ago I went out with my friend and being just us 2 girls we made friends with 2 guys in a club. In a period of about two hours we had alot of hard drinks and shots, so much that my friend have on recallection of the night after 10. I have a period of memory loss for bout 15 minutes but it all came back after i got a fright when pushed into the guys car and seeing him loosen his pants. I was able to grasp what was going on to get out and get my friend and go home. It turned out our drinks got spiked but luckily I spilled mine so i was still aware and i am now able to fill the gaps for my friend in her memory. I guess what i'm trying to say is that blackouts are dangerous. If I didn't get a fright I probably would not have woken up in my own bed the next day. Please be vigillent. Be carefull. Binge drinking can get you into trouble. When you are not aware of what you are doing, alot of bad things can happen. It has nothing to do with alcoholism, I'm just a student who goes out because it is fun. Things happen. Thats life.
i went out last xmas n got really drunk n dont remember most of the night, but on a couple of occasions in the past few years after a day or 2 of the night i get paranoid n worried i did sumthing bad, i dont remember an also non of my mates has actually said i did anything bad. wat is this is it just me?
OKay.. what if you remember everything from the night except for one major event that couldnt of lasted more than two minutes? Right after it happened.. literally a minute or two later I have no idea if it did really happen or not!!
I keep telling myself not again, but here I sit trying to remember! I only drink on one night but blackout almost every time. I need to stop, help.
had a blackout last night,and gave me mate a black eye,now ive broke me finger,lol
I am an 18 year old girl 5"7' 130 lbs. I'm known to be that crazy one in high school my motto is " go hard or go home home" at least that's what I tell people once I get drunk. Diringthe school year I would drink only on weekends and every once an a while with college kids during the school week. In the summer it's a whole different story I drink way more. I've never drank by myself that just seems weird but I'm just always going to parties. I think I could count on 1 hand how many times I HAVENT passed out or blackedout. I used to think it was funny and so did everyone else but thinking back it's kinda scary and not funny at all. While blackout I've been, taken advantage of sexual, started fights with people, cheated on poeple, Bren teabagged, peed my pants ... You name it it's happened to me. This sounds weird cause I'm a girl but I'm a tank I can out drink most guys I've actually beer binges 15 beers in a short amount of time and still wasn't drunk. A lotta guys get all hard with me and try to challenge me and I'm very competetive so I obviously take them on and win. It seem like once I get passed a certain point I just keep drinking I can't get myself to stop and I don't know I'm doing it cause I'm blackout and people don't realize I'm blackedout until the next morning. I guess I realized this was a problem when my friends made a block pool of drinks per hour when will she blakout and they made bets I was more fun than march madness according to them ... Idk I know this is fucked up but idk what to do
From the begining of the night, i remember drinking faster than anyone else, and more. I remember being mad because I had been the only one who was not hooking up with some strange boys! I was mad at my friends for being that easy. Apparently, I ended up fighting my best friend six times. Somewhere towards the morning i came back into reality...but slowly. It wasnt until later that day that I realized I had no memory of the night. I have never got drunk and fought before...I have blacked out though. The guilt is killlling me and I cant go to sleep. They all think I'm crazy now, am I?
Ha no your not crazy. This is obviously way more commin then i expected. Yup like so many others here i have recently been having black outs while drinking, i drunk on friday at mine with mates, but thats all i remember, untill the next day. i even went to town for hours and i dont remember a SINGLE thing. Yup not a thing! I hate it when that happens because it gets you into SO MUCH trouble sometimes. fuck. from now on im only drinking beer. and only 6 of them.
I was out last night with a girlfriend and she wanted to get home early, so she dropped me off at my place around 11 p.m. I live downtown and wasn't feeling ready to stop the party and actually ran into a couple of guys who were using the bathroom in my building. I ended up walking to a neighborhood bar with them. I remember dancing and I got one beer. Then I pissed off one of the guys b/c I wasn't interested in anything more than just hanging with them. So those two guys moved on, and I stayed and dance to some great jazz. All of sudden I'm playing pool with another dude and a couple of his friends are hanging around us. Some girl starts to get pissed off at the guy I'm playing pool with. She and I become friendly and she even gives me one of her hair bands. After that, I can't remember a damn thing and I'm super anxious about it. I woke up naked in my own bed this morning at 8 p.m. Rarely, do I sleep naked, so this was really strange to me. I cannot remember taking off my clothes, jewelry, putting the trash can by my bed, etc. Luckily, I had everything, my purse, ID, house keys, money, phone, wedding ring, etc. Oddly enough, I found a business card under my purse. I remember receiving it from the guy that I was playing pool with, but usually I put that stuff away. Sometimes I wonder if that was a blackout or if someone might have slipped something in my drink. It's definitely scary to lose time and not be able to remember anything.
I meant that I woke up at 8 a.m., not 8 p.m. Minor detail...after re-reading my own rant, I realize that I should not go out by myself - that was where I went stupid! I just want to forget that I can't remember!
i am seriousy freaking out. went for some drinks with my friends. last thing i remember is getting a beer for my boyfriend in a pub around 2am. then BANG. i wake up at 7am sitting on the stairs of some apartment block 10min away from my place. no bag, no shoes and no idea how i got there, don't know anyone living around there. total black out. no clue what i have been doing between 2 and 7 and who i was with. scared to ask around as well. thank god no one took sexual advantage of me. never drinking so irresponsibly again, this is plain scary.
Drank pretty quickly in short amount of time at a gig (Not much but enough..) Blacked out. Couldn't remember a thing.. Nothing. Memory totally gone. Can't recall of what i was doing.. I was so blacked out that i was totally gone. Voices to be heard in the distance but as far for me and my body, not responding. Paramedics took me away.
I have had blackouts as well. I just thank God that my husband stuck by my side through all those times. If it wasn't for him letting me know what happened I would have never known I had a problem. The horrible thing was I was the total opposite person of who I really am. It was really hard for him to believe that I really did not remember things. He thought at first I was just making excuses to do the things I did that I wouldn't do sober. That maybe I was just blocking things out and making myself forget, but that just isn't true. Blackouts are horrible. My recommendation, stop drinking, or drink with someone you can truly trust and who is more than understanding. Also, it doesn't always take a lot of alcohol for blackouts to happen. Thanks for the hub, it helped me to realize that this does really happen.
got drunk, blacked out. walked 2 miles thru richmond to get home and i think i waited to sober up before i started walking. smoked a whole pack of pall mall red 100s. my left hand, knee and foot are cut up. i am missing HALF of my cellphone. i spaced out my drinks then had one damn 4loco and it was game over.
cheers everyone
I find the most important thing in avoiding blackouts is drinking slower. By drinking slower it is possible to actually feel more drunk than the point where one would often forget everything, while still retaining some self-control and memory.
Of course, there's still the health issues/hangover to deal with, which is why drinking less overall is probably a good option.
Saturday night, I drank 6 glasses of vodka coke in about half an hour then a friend toke me to town. I remember arriving in town but after that I just remember waking up at a friend's house. I have been told some of the things I did and I cannot face up to them, I don't have the strength because I'm a shy person. I told a friend I was in love with her and that I couldn't help it (which isn't even true but now she's under the impression that it is), I said very private things to people, tried to hook up with a friend's girl and just generally made a complete fool of myself. The thing is that I have the impression that everyone is acting weird around me now, I feel there's something they don't dare tell me that I did but I cannot remember anything. I also felt very drunk all through untill 4PM Sunday (I woke up at 10:30 for some reason). I am thinking about stopping drinking because this is not the first blackout I've had recently and before I would never ever blackout with alcohol. The thing is, drinking makes me feel good because otherwise I am a very shy person...
I think its only vodka ..last saturday i went to night club its good music so i started drinking fast i remmber just the frist 2 hours then i found myself in my bed around 9 am ..i run to miror checking my face ,,i have my phone my keys everythings ..my friends told me that i waS ACTING NICE HAVING CONVERSATION AND THEY TOLD THAT I STOLE A BOTTLE OF BACARDI BUT NOBODY KNOW ..AND I FOUND 2 NEW NUMBERS OF GIRLS ...I THINK THIS IS NOT HEALTH PROBLEM ,,ITS LIKE ANOTHER SOUL TAKE UR BODY SOME 1 ELES USING UR BODY..BUT ITS REALY SCARE ME
I pretty much black out everytime I drink now. Which isn't that often anymore but too often for my liking. I have NO self control when I drink. I go out to get blind, it's pretty f&$ked I know.not sure if I should see someone or just get more self discipline. I don't even really enjoy it anymore. The hangovers last at least 2 days! Not sure why I'm writing this, but if anyone has got any advice or anything to say, it would be appreciated.
flippin love blacking out. that is usually my goal when i go out with friends, along with air guitar, jump kicks, wrestling, acting like an animal and singing lady gaga. rock and roll party time.
Can anyone tell me whether it's true or not, that when a person is experiencing a blackout they may be more honest and say things that maybe they wouldn't share if they were sobber. Apparently, I say things when I blackout that I've tried to keep a secret when I'm sober. Does anyone know?
I used to drink alot and the thing about that was I would never stop drinking unless the liquor run out I would try not to drink anymore but would end up doing so anyways. One night I drank 3 cups of hennessy and a cup of rum with no chaser in less than 5 minutes and can only recall bout 7 or 8 minutes later and ended up blacking out totally for 9 hours I was told I did some horrible things such as trying to get out of a moving truck and said some aweful things to my significant other at that time its been months now and i still cant recall. I stoped drinking after that night though so what would i be considered since when i did drink i was unable to stop but did stop altogether with no help. I'm still dealing with the "consequences" because of what I said I just would like to know what was going on that i couldnt stop drinking when i would start .
Test
I have just read all comments, and I think I have decided to stop drinking. I am a sweet peoson but when I drink I just can't stop and sometimes black out... I act so stupid and I have spent so many days and weeks just mortified at what I did... It makes me feel so shameful and embarrased because it is so out of character.... I actually hate alcohol when I think about all the stupid things that it does. I just think I am so much better without it.... How to heal from the embarrasment of getting drunk?
his a story for some to take serious.in the beginning of may my brothers and i had a party in wich we three basically shared a bottle of tequila the lg one. one went to sleep,so got home home after we woke him up. my oldest bro and i decided to go dancing.big mistake. the alcohol had not taken Much affect after a while. we then shared two bottles one of praton cofe the medium plus a absolute bottle of citrus.we were then drunk in the bar. he of course was mostlikely starting to get dehydrated and order a shot of bacardi fifty one. so di i. ooops thets the second shot for both and it went there a wave of remembering nothing at alll!!!!!! he suffered the partial blackout while i suffered total blackout!!!! to my disfortune i have doubts for what happen that night!
A few days ago i went out with friends from work,Just to have afew beers. I ended up calling my boy friend to come n pick me up, this i remember. But the next day i found out that i had come on to a guy my sons age. And had left the bar went to my girl friends house, showerd n walked back to the bar. i live about 60 miles from were i work n don't remember the ride home. nor do i remember what happen after getting home. I thank god that i have the boy friend i have n that he cares n loves me like he dose. But at the same time he told me that we had sex when we got home n i don't remember that either. He told me that i seemed to be completly aware of what i was doing. This has realy made me wonder what else i did that night n has scared the shit out of me. I am 40 years old n this has never happen to me before. I am worried n not sure what to think or were to go from here. Can any one help.
I recently went out to a bar and met a load of new people as it was a mutual friends party at the same place.
Within an hour of drinking we were all getting pretty tipsy and we soon emigrated to the nearby club. By this time I had hit it off with a great girl and we had quite a few mutual friends - at the club our whole group were all drinking pretty heavily.
At around 2am my flatmate and I left to go home, and I invited the girl and her friend (guy) back to my flat which was really nearby.
They happily agreed and we ended up playing drinking games until very early in the morning. By this time I was majorly under the influence. Without having had much to eat and constant mixing of types of alcohol, all four of us were drunk.
The girl and I split from the other two and slept in my room. We had had a spark all night, and as soon as we were alone together we started getting it on and ended up sleeping together.
The next morning I wake up to her getting dressed, and saying to me that she was really scared when she woke up because she could not remember what happened at all from when she left the club - literally nothing apart from a few minor details about my flat. She knew we had slept together due to the way she was feeling in the morning.
I was absolutely horrified. What had been I thought mutual (obviously stupid) drunken sex now had a horrible spin as if I had taken advantage of her. But I had no idea she was having a blackout. I have been ripping myself to shreds over it and I am pretty upset. I am not that person at all, and I hate the idea that she thinks I have taken advantage. I am pretty distraught and I was just looking for some viewpoints and how she might be feeling? What can I do and are there other guys in the same position? The thing is I could have just as easily had a blackout and not remembered.
I think four lokos makes me feel good but i know i shouldn't be risking it like that i dont even wana get addicted to it but gotta say its feels awso
e nd like if ur personality is different nd ur more daren with anybody u feel like talking or u like.Like today i made out with my exboyfrend i just think he stil cute but dont like him like that think i made a mistake i when with it trust me it does give u short memory cus realy dont remember everything...not tryen to drink nomore but just can help it
I have blacked out so many times in my drinking career. I guess I learned to drink at college, and was often chosen to race people in slamming drinks or bonging beers. I never really saw it as an issue, probably because waking up wondering what happened was common amongst the college population. Fast-forward 7 years: I have two drunk driving offenses, no license for the last two years, spent over $10,000 of my own hard earned money, had to sign my car over to the state, and also moved back with my dad. I was sober for almost a year and started gradually drinking once i was off probation. Probation was a breeze, i worked the system and moved to another state and then moved back. Long story short I was in probation department with felons so i was low on the radar. I was court ordered to drug and alcohol test 2x a week, AA 2x a week, plus go to intensive outpatient care. Never did any of it...which is wonderful because it saved me even more money. Point being, I still drink after all that and still black out, at least once a month, probably more. I think the malfunction with our brains is that we drink to achieve a level of intoxication, rather than as a social act. That being said, we need to change our motive for drinking. You must understand why you do something to understand how it works and how to control it. Take it from me and so many others I met in AA, alcohol is fun but it is capable of talking everything from you, even life or the lives of others. With that said no more drinking to get drunk, just a nice adult beverage to share with co-workers and family. P.S. There are a lot of posts on this page, and many of them are almost unbearable to read, not because of the thoughts being conveyed, but by the display of the authors total lack for a grasp of the english language. For the love of god, your CAPS LOCK IS ON AND WORDS/LETTERS WILL GET REALLY BIG (UPPERCASE)WHEN YOU USE IT. I'm no grammar nazi, but damn read what you typed...CAN YOU?
I don't drink often (1-2 times/year). The last drink I had was ONE shot of vodka 11 months ago (New Year's 2010). But a couple days ago, I had: 2 margaritas, 3 shots of tequila, 1 glass of beer, a small glass of brandy, all within 1-2 hours. I was sitting in a chair. It took me about 30 minutes after the brandy and I was out. The next thing I remember, I couldn't SEE anything (everything was dark, maybe my eyes were closed?), but I could FEEL myself sitting on the floor by the bed. I was CRYING. I don't know what caused it, but I must have been crying loudly/acting out, because my friends were trying to calm me down. I remember saying only one thing, "I miss daddy" (he passed away two years ago). I remember my friends telling me it's ok and one of them kissing my forehead. After that, it went black again. I kept coming in and out of conciousness over the next 3 hours. Eventually, I could see my surroundings, and I kept asking the time and saying "This is taking forever" (maybe for the alcohol to get out of my system/to wake up) lol. I think I mainly kept coming into consciousness, because my friends were loud and one of them was so drunk they kept bumping into walls and acting crazy lol. But I was opposite of that. Mainly just a constant blackout.
Iv'e drank and had blackouts for years now but only since being with my recent girlfriend have I really reflected upon it. I used to laugh it off as we were young and it was normal for all young people in my home town to binge drink whenever we could.
In the past I've been arrested for drink driving and various other stupid acts which i would never dream about and actually frown upon in my normal day to day life. Ive lost girlfriends, injured relationships with friends and family and generally insulted or disgusted people i care about or even just like such as work colleagues.
.....But still I drink??
I don't drink everyday or even every week now; but when i do; 50% of the time i just don't know when to stop. I do things that i have no idea about until im told and i feel ashamed for most of them to this day.
As my sober self I am an honest nice, friendly, happy guy ( all though quite shy sometimes) who gets on with people and loves my girlfriend more than anything. But as soon as I've got carried away and had that one drink too many...#BOOM!
I'm not ME anymore and I have no idea what happened; I'l be in the bar one minute and then the next thing i know im in bed or in the street or wherever the last few hours have taken me and it's guaranteed I've been a complete and utter tosser.
I cheated(luckily just kissed)a girl a few months ago during one of these times which i found out a couple of days after and immediately felt sick to the stomach; it's the same feeling as when someone has cheated on you but its your fault. Fuking awful.
Now i told myself that i know that i love my girl and that as it wasn't anything more that i should count my blessings and never ever let this happen again. My girlfriend was suspicious and still is about that night due to me amazingly ringing me in my pocket and leaving her a voicemail shouting drunken blur at the girl i got with.....nice one eh....
i hate lying to my girl as she doesn't deserve this she is truel amazing to me but i didn't want to hurt her or throw away what we have because of a stupid mistake that i can't even remember happening.
.... anyway a few days ago guess what????......yup my alter ego 'Mr. I'm a massive twat' strikes again.
Again lucky it was only a kiss but i don't think that matters now; i can't let this pass again and I'm gona have to tell the girl and end the best relationship I've ever had in the process.
However that wasn't the only massive fuck up, i also shouted insults at someone i work with (guy); tried to put my hand up the skirt of someone i work with(girl) and told a work mates gf that he hates her (which came from nowhere???).
So as you can guess....works greeeaaat atm..............all in a nights work though eh?
Anyway sorry to ramble on but just reading these stories has made me feel less on my own with this and i also thought i should share the most recent shit hole that booze has made out of my life as maybe it might help others see how bad it can get.
Most people just don't understand that its not me anymore when i flip that switch....but i know that i am the cause of this so obviously itl only stop if i cut the drink completely.
However as i am quite shy i feel i need it to open me up and socialise with people properly. But obviously it can have the opposite effect. IS it worth it?
Typing this out has really hit home btw and i am now gonna have to face that this is a real problem that i have. I guess it's quit drink or definitely lose everything i care about in life............
Sounds like an alcoholic or said by an alcoholic......?
drinking sucks i black out alot when i drink, and later i wonder what i said t people. you know its just not worth it.
If if was only alcohol then wouldn't you remember drinking enough to black out?
taking a friends car driving to get some food vague grinding sound as I side swipe the gate on the driveway pulling back in.
Waking up in the morning couldn't remember much except vague recollections of hamburgers and driving start panicking google for hit and runs/accidents in the area... It's frigthening stuff I was lucky I hadn't killed anyone or myself and the damage was some stripped paint.Still...
Not the first time either it only happens occasionally and involves large amounts of alcohol I literally have blank spots interspersed with some moments like the sound of side swiping the gate. Not a good time to be driving won't be doing it again.
I always get total blackouts. I always plan to start slowly but I just end up drinking straight vodka by the cupful.. I probably average 15 drinks a night and I always do something stupid, although I happen to be everybodies favourite drunk. This has caused me a lot of trouble as I have done as bad as hooking up with 5 guys in a night, more with one. Also I have done some other extremely embarassing things such as peeing on someone, getting naked, telling people things that should not be told. Is there any cure to regain these lost hours, as I average about 4 hours of my involuntary actions. Sometimes I don't remember until the morning. Other times I regain consciousness after a few hours. My friends always encourage me to get drunk like that because im the 'happiest drunk in the world' although it has lost my dignity, brain cells and hours of my life. Is there any way to remember? !
These are only a small amount of my actions which I never know about until im told.sometimes I dont even realise I've blacked out until told of what I did. Do I have a problem?
@ Anon: I'm on the opposite end of the situation. I have never experienced a blackout before(or after) in my life. And had no intention of getting wasted (maybe a little drunk). With how everything ended up it feels like I've been drugged.
I've had many blackouts over the years, and they've been becoming a regular thing when I drink now. My latest kick has been walking - walking home from the bar or party. On several occasions these walks have lasted 4-5 hours and have covered as much as 15 miles while completely black out drunk. Some of the longer walks I've taken while drunk have allowed me to actually 'wake up' from the blackout and it is an incredibly surreal experience.
The first step is like someone turning on a switch - you're alive and awake but very much like a baby - confused and running on base instincts. You're usually confused, afraid, can't comprehend the current situation or solve simple problems (like how to operate a cell phone). Over time you gain back coordination, the ability to solve simple problems, the ability to solve more complex problems. The waking up process can take anywhere from 1-3 hours I've found and have been some of the worst experiences of my life.
I have been in love with this guy since day I met him we lived together in washington..he just moved to vegas so i saved my money to come see him been 4 months with out sex he waited for me as I did him new years eve i drank my bodyweight in liquor blacked out and had sex with one of his best friends he walked in saw and will never speak to me again iam sitting alone in a hotel alone and my life is screwed lost the one person I was truly in love with all bcuz of a blackout!! Completely shocked when he told me and thought I was using drinking to cover it up! That's Not me at all :(
I think another reason for blackouts is that its killing off our braincells more and more-and they are having trouble holding that memory-so I guess it does a memory dump where I guess the memories arent important anyhow lol! But I did notice when I started to eat verrrrry healthy-thatwhen I did drink the regular amout (which is alot for me)I remembered more and could hold my emotions better so it would cause me to get in less confrontations. And too I think it has something to do with being diabetic? I was once diabetic and it kinda feels the same as being drunk-but worse at times.
Most people that I know believe I was drugged,because of the way I reacted. Apparently I did drink more.. but that's not how I act at all. I haven't had mixed drinks with soda in a years. I had beer when we were out, and it did taste funny. I didn't feel like I normally would after the beer.
But I have hyper reactive hypoglycemia and felt really tired after the mixed drink at my friends house. So I have been wonder the same thing about the connection to any blood sugar reactions.
When you don't remember anything and everyone believes you were drugged, yet you were never tested for anything (drugs or blood sugar levels), and everyone that was around you believes you had to much to drink.. is very confusing.
OMG!!!!! this is freakin cool......lol...i thought I was alonalone with the whole blackin out thing....i blacked out yesterday
i've been blacking out more frequently over the last couple of years (i'm 28), and also seem to have got this walking problem - this weekend i was drinking for a friends birthday, we went to a club and i seem to have just left without telling anyone and started walking - luckily i ended up at home but i still have no idea how i got there (it's not waking distance esp in stilettos). i've slept with people when blacked out and only found out by asking them, but to everyone else i don't seem drunk at all however then really suddenly i just don't remember anything after a certain point. i'm not an alcoholic but i do binge drink every other saturday, think it may be time to get on the wagon for a few months as i've probably just been lucky nothing too horrific has happened to me so far, nothing i've found out about anyway lol. god that's not even though, just scary!
I went out last night had a couple of white wine spritzers then double vodkas couldnt tell you how many as I cannot remember but it must have been a few as I have spent all my money. Woke up this morning not feeling too rough however cannot remember the night before (only remember the parts before all the vodka) It really scares me and I get very frustrated with myself for getting in such a state. I even had a cry earlier, I try really hard to remember what happened but nothing comes back to me.
This has happened more than once now so I must act mature and responsible and just say NO!
Its not big its not clever and its certainly not healthy!
I went out for 'one drink' last night that turned into a lot of drinks and I have woken up this morning to be informed how I screamed abuse at both my boyfriend and best friend and humiliated myself infront of my housemates. I have had to come home to my parents house because the shame is too much. I have tried to apologise but I guess its gonna take a long time for my best friend and boyfriend to get over the barrage of abuse I shouted. They say the truth comes out when you're drunk but none of the things I said were remotely true. I feel disgusted with myself and really see this as a wake up call to quit drinking!!!
It actually sucks when u wonder about wat u said during the balckout n no one wants to tell u next day cus it probably is your deeepest secret. Hard to look those ppl again it hurts when u knw that they know what they shouldn't have known about yourself. That did happen to me n i still hate drinking for that
I did horrible things when i was drunk, over and over again, i didnt remember anything the next day; i was lost, i hit on a girl (i am a girl and i am not a lesbian, at least i dont think so :D), got kicked out from a club, once i was at a party of my friend and i turned into a monster (i hit on guys, i slap people and insult them, i bite) i am not liked that sober, i am shy
I am so embaressed i feel so guilty and just dont know how to handel with what i did, i stopped drinking, even getting out but i cant get over the things people told me i did, i dont know what to do, i am sometimes so deppressed that i think there is no point in living
I have lost friends through drinking to much and blackouts, I am a decent and good person when im sober, and i only drink every now and then but when i do its like a monster has been unleashed, i recently hit my friend and spat in her face i didnt remember a thing until i was told the next day and im so ashamed and miss my friends, i also got on a karaoke and hurled a torrent of abuse at another girl once this was not good. these are just a few things that ive done when drunk, and so ive quit the demon booze. im fed up of waking up wit that horrible feeling of dread and shame. i want people to remember me as a good person not a horrible nasty drunk.
I am coming to you guys from the opposite side of the spectrum here. My boyfriend blacks out when he drinks and it is not all the time but when we are having a great night he tends to love SHOTS! I am aware of his drinking most of the time and can tell him to slow down but when he hits a certain point there is no stopping him.
About 4 months ago we were at a bar in his hometown, it was Thanksgiving so we went to see his family, and we ran into some old friends of his. He introduced me to everyone and we were having a good night. My friend had also come along this night so I was sitting at the bar hanging out with her while I let my BF catch up with everyone.
I noticed he was doing shot after shot and after an hour he was getting quite close to this girl he had just introduced me to that he went to highschool with. I asked him to come hang out with me and my friend to get him away from her and he was having just too much fun. " Come on how often to I get to see these guys?" I gave into it. Not even thirty minutes later my friend had gone to the bathroom and saw my BF lean into this girl and kiss her. She described this not as a make out but as a pec on the mouth. What would cause him to do this? Did he just forget he had a girlfriend? When it was brought to his attention later that night after we had left the bar he did not even remember doing it. My BF and I have been together on and off for 7 years and going strong for the past 3. He has never cheated on me before but we have had trust issues of his flirting when he drinks too much. Why would he do this at a bar that I am at with him? Could he really not remember and could it really not mean anything?
blackouts!!! I'm 33yrs old and I have stated to blackout the last couple years. do to blacking out it has cost me to loose or idk yet if I lost my girlfriend that I truly love and admire she is so great. Everytime I black out I end up treating her extremely bad!!!! I do know that I don't want to loose her over this. I know there is no excuse I was big enough to keep drinking and drinking I deserve what ever comes to me, but if she just gave me one more opportunity I will fixs this problem of mine ! I don't want to loose my family!!!
It makes me sad how I blackout. I don't want my husband to have to take care of me anymore. I am always so ashamed. I am a good and decent person. I just can't control myself. It is so embarrassing.
I recently had a blackout and finally came to when I was getting pulled over. Apparently I did some pretty stupid things that are way out of characteristic for me sober or drunk. I too am ashamed. I finally have to admit I have a problem and need to get it addressed.
I sometimes have experienced some blackout drinking - sometimes never having a clue about what happened that night from start to finish. That doesn't bother me much, but isn't good so I try to avoid it, and now it doesn't happen much.
Now though, I usually forget conversations I had while drinking, what the topic was about, what I said, or sometimes even talking to that person. I'm not too sure what this and what I should do about it.
@Jane:
You are not alone. I tried AA years ago and met a lot of people who literally said what I had been thinking for years. Which was that I didn't want to live at times any more, because I was so sad and ashamed of my drinking and what I had done over the years. The drinking itself has a serious neurological effect on your brain chemistry. Not just as a depressant -- which we all need to remember -- but also a long-term effect possibly on our serotonin chain length. All that ends up meaning you can have long-term depression problems, though it's not known if this is cause or effect with drinking.
@Britt:
On behalf of your man, I apologize with all my heart. That sounds ridiculous, I know. But I've done this shit to my man for over 10 years now. I haven't kissed anyone that I know of while drunk. But I've done plenty enough harm flirting with people or chatting people up that I'm not the slightest bit truly interested in. It's an attention/validation thing, I think. It's self-indulgence. I don't know about your man, but I know I have the most horrific shame and guilt over this. If he's worth his salt, he should apologize. Even if he can't remember it.
Got drunk by myself at a bar a while back. Chatting with two guys about nonsense. Realized at some point that I was getting obnoxious and thought about heading home. After that, just little, tiny moments of clarity. Throwing up after getting home. Waking up naked. Feeling sick and scared, because I can't remember anything that happened.
I quit. I'm done. I love my man. I have no idea how I'm going to handle it if I find out something really bad happened. I try so hard to remember, but it's all just a guess. And not remembering is devastating to me. Like many people who posted here, I am normally reserved and kind. When I get drunk, I act like a total fool. Sometimes, like a completely different person with different memories and catch phrases, different personality completely. I lie to people, make up elaborate stories in my head about people I don't know. Do dangerous stunts physically and get hurt. etc. I can't live like this any more. It's ridiculous to think I can.
I've read everyone's posts and I've noticed one thing that really stands out in most. We all are mostly shy, timid, kind and good peopole, when we are sober then the complete polar opposite when we drink. I've noticed over the years that the more nervous or awkward I feel out socially the more I will drink. If I'm going to a party and perhaps I don't know everyone or I'm a little too timid I will get wasted. This past weekend I went out with my best friend to celebrate her birthday and I didn't just get drunk and act silly, I got beyond drunk. I don't remember a damn thing for a period of at least 4 hours. She drove me home and had to walk me to the door and my husband told me how I acted when I got home the next day. I am not sure if I was crying or yelling but I have a memory of both but it felt like just a dream too. I feel so ashamed as I start to think what could have happened. Everyone just laughed it off the next day as a lot of them were really drunk too. Why can't I laugh it off and move on? I still feel sick to my stomach about it all and have decided to really take a good look at my alcohol intake. I have noticed that when I started on my anti-anxiety meds is when the black out drinking started too so I have stopped taking those and I am going to talk to my doctor about that as well and see if there are any alternatives. If she suggests to just stop drinking, then that is what it will be.
would a girl remember sex the next morning if she was drunk the night before ?
my girlfriend told me she hooked up with a guy at a party before we were dating and she said there was no sex but the guy she hooked up with says they had sex so is she denying it becasue she dosnt want me to feel bad about her being a virgin or does she just not remember cause she was drunk? could use some help please :)
sorry that is supposed to be: is she denying it cause she dosnt want me to feel bad about being a virgin
@tmoney69 It does not matter..
Recently since my break up I've been drinking more heavily on the town (clubs) than I usually would. I also seem to be going home with random people and I can't remember any of it...Very unusual because in 6 years I've never experienced this. Is it due to stress or depression?
Shit always happens when people drink. There is always drama and always will be. It Just takes a lot to admit your own faults. It is a lot easier to judge others than yourself. I dont understand though, is that people know i get loose drunk like 6 out of 10 times that i go out drinking. The other night i went out got drunk did a bunch of cocaine, which i rarely ever do. Then i went down to the local tire shop and asked some guy if he had any cocaine and i dont even know him. They called the cops on me, but i left. I got lost in my town. I only live in a town of about 15000 people. So you run into a lot of the same people. And i really made a mistake this time, and now am paranoid to even go out of my house. Just in case people seen me that night. Because I ran into a lot of people i knew that night, and told them i was doing drugs cause i was completely lost and had no idea where i was and i was just so embarissing.
I come to you all from a different side of this subject.. alcoholic grandfather (r.i.p), dad on drugs, in and out of my family and I's life since I was 2 yrs old (25 now)... I've always been a shy, loving, friendly but private person. That was, until about 2 years ago.
Being in a controlling, four year relationship where you pretty much have to PRETEND to be someone else - drove me to drink more. Constantly going out to bars, pool halls and clubs with my girl, her sis and a few mutual friends - tequila shots and Bud was all we drank. I can't tell you how many times I TOTALLY blacked out during these four years. I do remember telling her that I wanted to fuck her cousin (male), three times within a minute. I've given this same cousin a lap dance on a different occasion. I've been told that I punched her in the stomach, thus friends and her sis were afraid what would happen at times that I've been drinking and gotten really tipsy - one drink away from being drunk and only a SHOT from being wasted...
During this time alone, I did a LOT of things that I'm still kind of ashamed of but knew, as a result of hiding so much other stuff - it had slowly became MY truth. I thought her cousin was really hot. I did want to screw him, we'd felt on each other once before (he told me about this WAY after I told her I wanted to screw him). I'd recently told her I was still into guys, which made her insecure and even more distant. I became lonely, for a while I still remained faithful to her, even with the doubts I had about her do the same for me. SO, once again, we're out, drinking - I met this older guy that happened to stay 5 minutes from our apartment.. she continued getting distant and I gradually began hanging out with him. At first, it was all innocent. We'd just sit up and talk about life, relationships (he was 34 & recently divorced with two girls), God, etc and have a glass or two of wine. No biggie.
Well, few weeks went by and I was fed up. I felt bad doing it but having sex with a good friend of mine that worked in the area... then meeting and eventually hooking up with him, made me feel good. As wrong as it was, I felt so lonely. She had pulled me away from my family, friends, and everything I loved. I was pretty much under her control without even really realizing it for too long.
She and I broke up about a year ago, this month. I recently visited a good friend of mine and her mom in the south this weekend and things were cool... until again, I started drinking. Now, these people drink A LOT OF beer and she can handle A LOT OF ALCOHOL & BEER, she's 24.. Okay, so this is where it all went down hill..
Friday @ 10:30ish, we get to her moms.... 10 minutes in, she calls me her ex gf's name... mistake #1. I'm uncomfortable and ready to go home. Mistake #2 came around 2 p.m. when one of her other ex's shows up with her kid (my friend is the god mom, but you have to remember, mistake #1)... I've had @ LEAST 3 or 4 beers by now.. I'm just starting to feel the buzz but I insist on MAKING myself feel better. Called my BFF who tried to have sex with me after she kissed me (smh) - we hadn't talked in like 3 weeks... she told me to stop drinking.. DID I LISTEN?? OF COURSE NOT. Mistake #3 was taking the shot of Jose Cuervo that her brother poured and I was GOOD AND BUZZED by this time, I took it STRAIGHT to the HEAD! No 2nd thinking...
I forgot we were going out later this same night, I was in the room, changing clothes (I don't remember) and I told her "I want you to take me home, NOW! Forget about us! Forget about me! You make me insecure!" and I walked out the room. I remember bits and pieces of the drive there, seeing a lot of people, telling her sister-in-law that her mother didn't like her (yes, I did but that I was true - the girl I'm dating tells me all the time, still wasn't right to tell)....
Monday, we're drinking beers - I started around 2 p.m. and had at least 5 Bud Lights back to back and then a strawberry daquiri. On the way down the road, I think I had 3 or 4 Buds (Hadn't drunk these in like 2 yrs, tolerance TOO LOW to have been drinking this and I knew it but I just wanted to drink). Lets just say a total of 10 beers in too short a time span.
She told me I was talking shit, luckily this time nothing bad really happened. Now anytime I drink, she always says that I'm drunk, even when I'm tipsy and I remember what happened, or forget for a split second until you remind me of a small detail and then it all comes back to me. It pisses me off because I know drinking tequila is either going to make me EXTREMELY horny or VERY angry and lately, within the last four yrs, dealing with a controlling partner, I get angry every time.
I AM STILL ASHAMED and thrown off from what happened this weekend. Drinking doesn't excuse any actions, period. People get hurt, you say and do things that you - majority of the time regret. I've been having blackouts since age 9, initially as a result of being too warm, or getting too much sun. Now that I'm older and instead of blacking out due to sun, its because of alcohol, its depressing. I know what kind of person I am without the alcohol and I'm a very cool person to be around but sometimes I'm really shy - like another post above, drinking calms me down a little and I begin to open up. Which is what I want - only thing is - once I start.. depending on what I start with, its hard to stop. Sometimes I just want to forget the drama in the day I just had. Other times, I just want my mind to be clear. MOST of the time, I REALLY just want my mind to be clear, no worries, no concerns, no nothing... I'm always thinking too much... but even with knowing that... I still don't stop and honestly, can't even, don't want to even begin trying to explain why. :/
Come to find out - the whole time she was being distant - I caught her in a lie having relations with a STRAIGHT, married woman, with kids, that was willing to leave her husband to be with my ex. She insisted that it was nothing but feelings... :/ I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid - I knew better than that. Packed my stuff and left the same day.
and im another blackout drunk add to the list...
i went out at the weekend cant remember a thing i only drink once every couple weeks. i hate not remembering things especially when my gf tells me what iv been doing. starting fights with people
i went out at the weekend cant remember a thing i only drink once every couple weeks. i hate not remembering things especially when my gf tells me what iv been doing. starting fights with people
It is bad when u blackout. Have blacked out plenty of times and it is not a good feeling. Consequently, it is an effect of alcohol consumption. The first step in order not to experience the guilt and shame of blacking out is to stop drinking. This is something that I myself have trouble doing but I am working hard at it.
I blackout (total) alot when drinking, like lastnight.. went out for dads birthday meal.. then headed to the bar with my brothers sister and their partners. I can only remember the meal.. i have been told i passed out on the floor at the bar and my brothers had to carry me home. The police were driving past and wondered what was going on.. I couldnt speak so my sis had to confirm that we were related! I am so embarrassed I think I need to stop drinking even though I enjoy it but I sure dont enjoy the morning after or the blackouts.
I seem to black out every time i drink, and it will always be after 4 drinks. Always wake up the next day only remembering that i was still fine. Dont even know what it feels like to be drunk, because i always black out before.. whats up with that?
I don't often have blackout,but when I do it is disastrous.
I have had blackouts recently, and it is horrible. I feel very ashamed about my behavior. I am on my late 20s. In my entire life that I had 20 blackout. Things that happened while totally drunk. I have gotten kicked out of a club, getting fights verbally with people, being extremely rude, in the beginning phase I even drink and drive especially when I was 22 to 24.
Once more it happened when I was 26 which was totally crazy. I have spat 2 times to two different family member while I was drunk and called names etc. I feel so horrible when I hear things that I did or say to people. Once I kissed a boy when I was very very drunk. What is it with alcohol? I wish I could know my limits? Will I ever know? Sometimes when I go out with my friends I handle it so well and other times I loose it completely. I have blackout once or twice a year, but it seems it is enough to cause the damage for the whole year or more.
I am a total bitch when I am drunk and hate that I become totally opposite of my real personality. And I actually am a sweet girl..at least I have been told by other people repeatedly.
Since I have blackout..am I an alcoholics?? What can I do? I really need help on what to do? I am in desperate need of some good advice. Comments are appreciated.
Blacked out the other day. Pulled some girl according to my friends, dont remember what i did or what i said, wish i could remember though!
I've been crying all morning. Blacked out last night. I have lost 6 hours of memory. Cant believe how irresponsible I was. I hate to ask what was said :(
Sorry to hear Jenny. It will get better...grow and learn from it.
I have experience both kinds of blackouts in just a week's time. Every Tuesday night, my friends and I go to the same bar and sing karaoke and have drinks. Last Tuesday I decided to drink more than usual; I mean I really pushed my limit. My friends and I went to the local Wal-Mart afterward and my boyfriend met us up there to pick me up. Apparently I walked around the store apologizing to him the ENTIRE time and begging him not to break up with me. I wanted a Reese cup badly, but got into an argument with myself about how I didn't really need it. I climbed into my friend's trunk in the parking lot and closed it. When my boyfriend and I finally made it home, after stopping by the bank because I absolutely had to make a cash deposit and it just couldn't wait until the morning, I got in our bed fully clothed with my shoes still on. He played Xbox for a bit while I was conked out. I fell off the bed twice, both times knocking over the lamp on our nightstand, I cried A LOT, went to the bathroom but never turned on the light... etc. When I woke up, my boyfriend told me about these things and the memories came back slowly. That was a fragmentary blackout. However, last night when we went and did our "Tuesday-thing" I definitely experienced a total blackout. Weirdest experience EVER. I don't remember anything I did after I paid my tab. This has NEVER happened in all my drinking days. My wonderful, caring boyfriend once again picked me up from the bar (which I don't remember). He took me to the bank so that I could deposit some money for my car payment. We went home and apparently I stripped naked and we did our thing, but then I became furious with him that he wouldn't go a second time and I cried for an hour after that. I woke up this morning and didn't know why my clothes were off. I looked at my hands and arms and freaked out because I didn't realize I had taken my jewelry off when I got home. I freaked out and woke my boyfriend up and asked him if I could use his car to go to the bank... that's when I found out... He told me that we went to the bank when he picked me up. I didn't believe him. I have absolutely NO memory of this. I checked my bank account online and sure enough, a "mysterious" 60 dollar deposit on 4/20/2011 2:11 a.m. was processing. So then I got scared. What else had I done and didn't remember. He told me all about the crying and sex and all of that good stuff. I was pretty embarrassed about that, but thankfully nothing too bad happened. Also, my friend tagged me in pictures from last night on Facebook; I remember all of the pictures except for the last two. When we were leaving the bar, I apparently saw a moped and decided to pretend I was "riding" it... my friend snapped a picture. It's absolutely mortifying to wake up and not remember what the hell happened the night before. I was lucky that my boyfriend cares enough about me not to let me drive while drinking and I have good friends that won't let me do dangerous stuff, but I have to say, I don't EVER want to get that drunk again. This is a total wake-up call and I will go back to being more responsible with alcohol. It's been a rough month so I let myself get carried away, but there's just never a good excuse to put yourself in such a dangerous situation. Have fun, but remember to drink responsibly people! Blackouts are NO bueno!
I went out with my bf, his best friend and a girl his friend started dating. I had two beers then we started having shots of vodka, I didnt want to take shots but I let the peer pressure change that. I remembee leaving the bar we were at then ending up in a loung.. I dont remember how we got to the loung but I remember dancing with my bf and having fun.. I didnt remember buying a bottle at the loung but apparently we did and continued to drink. I remember getting along with the girl and,her crying to me about baby daddy drama. The place was empty except for four guys sitting at the bar. I remember seeing them laughing and me feeling offended. I told my bf and his friend something about the guys I dont remember what or even why. I think I imagined they insulted me. They almost got into a fight but my bfs friend difused the situation - this I dont remember and neither does my bf but his friend told him this. Then I lost memory of what happened next.. I remember crying and being scared and then crossing the street and some guy telling me I hope I didnt hurt him too bad but u cant hit a girl like that. I looked and seen my bf on the fl I walked to him and the cops came. I dont remember what happened why I was scared and crying and who hit my bf. We went in a cab and went home. I feel so depressed and embarrassed because I dont know what happened. I feel it was my fault. I feel like I ruined everything. We were having a good night. My bf blacked out too. He doesnt remember fighting but has a busted lip and some scrapes. I dont remember fighting but have a light black and blue on my face the shape of a perfect circle. My bf has bit marks on his chest so im sure those came from me. When this happened his friend was walking the girl to a cab so he didnt see anything but he said my bf must have gotten jumped from those four guys at the bar once they seen he was alone. But then why did the guy tell me my bf shouldnt hit girls? I think I fought with my bf and that guy broke it up by punching him. But I dont remember. How can I remember what happened before and after the fight but I cant remember the fight and who was in it or what caused it? I feel terrible like I betrayed my bf like I watched him get hurt and didnt help him. I called my siblings during the blackout and my brother heard my bf saying why am I getting him into this he will only get stabbed. Im so confused.. I been depressed for days and just been crying. I didnt lose anything and were all alive and my bf isnt too hurt but still I feel horrible I feel stupid and immature and its eating me up.. I feel like not living.. Im so ashamed.. My bf tells me I shouldnt feel so bad cuz we cant remember wat happened and we were all drunk but I cant help it.. I want to move away and be someone else. I feel too embarrassed to look at his friend and girl and myself. I dont know what happened and its killing me. I remember the emotions I felt but I dont know what caused them. I just cant get passed this. I know I will never drink again even thou I heardly drink and this was the first time anything this has happened to me it just feels so scarey. I feel so sad and depressed I just want to die. I hate myself and the feeling of not remembering. I feel like a bad person im so ashamed.. Please help I dont know how to get overcome this depression
i'm 28, female, and alcohol affects me really strangely. i have a tendency to black out without having consumed a lot of alcohol. it seems to be around 5 drinks when it happens(over the course of several hours).
it is very hard for people to tell when i'm drunk. i am normally more reserved and calm but when i drink i get happy and social, my friends never saw that as an issue, obviously, and people who don't know me usually would have no idea that i'm not normally so outgoing. i don't slur my speech, i don't stumble, nothing to tell an outsider i'd had too much. there have been several times when i've woken up, naked, not remembered getting home, and realized i don't remember several hours of the night out. when i ask my friends about it, they have said that i seemed very coherent and in control the whole time. bartenders and bouncers have said that i seemed totally fine. seems like each time it happens it gets worse.
last night was so upsetting. i was out with friends and an old ex boyfriend i'm still close to. drinking beer only, though pretty heavy beers. i remember the whole night at the bar, but not much after leaving and hanging at a friend's house for awhile. my ex boyfriend was driving and took us home at some point.
i woke up this morning in bed next to him, which seemed fine because we're still good friends (no couch for him to crash on in the living room so it made perfect sense, i thought we'd just slept). then i realized i was naked, i normally sleep naked so it wasn't too too weird, except that i wouldn't have done that normally with him in the bed with me. i started freaking out and asking him if we had sex, he looked shocked and said yes. i couldn't believe it and kept saying, "are you serious?! no, you're just messing with me!" finally i realized he was serious and i just lost it. started crying and apologizing.
this is so bad especially because he means a lot to me and i've thought of us reuniting sometime in the future when we're ready for it. i never would have had casual sex with him, other people maybe, but he means a lot to me and i never wanted to play around with that and treat it lightly. i felt like i had tainted a really good thing, cheapened something that was supposed to be meaningful.
of course he felt terrible, like he'd taken advantage of me. and i'm sure a little hurt, too, because i didn't remember anything. he told me how coherent i seemed, that he'd asked a couple times if i was sure i wanted to hook up, that i'd said, yes, let's.
this is really scary because obviously neither myself or anyone around me has any way of knowing how i'm doing. everyone thinks i'm fine, i think i'm fine. i hate this. i am definitely going to try to monitor better when i am drinking, maybe make sure i only have 3 and that my friends don't allow me to have more beyond that, even if i seem cold sober.
i do have some blood sugar issues, no offical diagnosis but i've always been sensitive to changes in my sugars, i get shaky pretty easily if i haven't eaten for a few hours, maybe reactive hypoglycemia (?). i wonder if this is related to why i black out so easily.
After last night, im never ever going to drink again
LOLz
My husband got drunk Friday night with our daughter in law, they started crying , consoling each other over sad times in there lives, keeled going outside for smoke although he doesn't smoke. I couldn't stay up any longer as it. Was 2.30am so went to bed, but then realized they had turned the lights out and gone outside. I went to check on them & there they were fucking up against our BBQ. I felt immediately sick & had to run for the toilet but when I came out, she was coming inside to be sick in the toilet & he was running after her but stopped dead when he seen me and when I asked him what he was doing he just said nothing. Then he went to our bed & immediately started snoring. When he woke up the next morning he had pissed the bed & has no memory of the night. She didn't come out of the bathroom until I went to bed then she made a bee line for the door but came back hours later so my husband could drive her back to the airport. My life has just shattered around me & he has no recollection & says the same thing as many ( it's not me to do that, I'm not that guy!) but he did I saw it I heard it & it's driving me crazy
How can I try to remember my past drunkness on a particular night? I just remember piture like frames of the night. Someone help me remember!
I Had Memory Loss for like 3 hours....and its like happening every month...No drinking atall can only save all of us.
last night my boyfriend went out drinking with his mates. When he came home he was acting very strange it was obvious that he was drunk and I found it quite funny at first then he started shouting and talking nonsense. He got quite frustrated that I didn't understand what he was talking about and he became very agressive, which caused a row between us. However this morning he woke up and does not even remember how he got home and any of the argument that we had. Is it possible for someone to forget so much or is he just faking it so that he doesn't have to face up to the way he acted? This sort of thing has happened many times before.
@kmjohn88 trust me. it happens. I had my first (And hopefully last) blackout yesterday. You literally can't remember anything during the blackout period. supposedly I looked as sober as ever, but i honestly cant remember a single thing from that period of time. After that, I dont think ill be drinking any time soon.
I was blacked out and only remember things on and off and for some reason I thought I did something really stupid but I dont know if that was my OCD brain making me think that way so I can fill in the blanks with my worst fears .. I first thought I was raped and continued to think so until i got my std test results back and they were all negative then that night i convinced myself i shot up with drugs .. I dont know if it was because i was in a bad part of town and may have seen someone do it but I imagined it was me and now am convinced I have hiv and every bad thing that could happen to me ... Is this just me making this up cause I have OCD and anxiety disorder and every time I drink or hang out with ppl that are using I swear I do it all .. i can picture it happening .. Has this happened to anyone else ?
Blackouts are extremely scary. I woke up an hour ago (4:30 am) and literally don't remember how I got back to my hotel room and I'm at a work conference which is even scarier. I'm really good at my job, I've had a hell of a year where I changed jobs (not really at my own choosing). I moved away from family, friends, and my boyfriend who I love very much. I know that I am drinking to mask the pain of all of the hell, the changes, the harassment at my former job, and I don't know how to stop...I went to one AA meeting but literally I felt like I was in a room full of losers...not professionals trying to get sober and I'm not a 'joiner'... How can one overcome this on their own? I know that I need to stop, I am a single mother, I am sole support for my kids, I am terrified about what. This is/maybe doing to them and I'm sick of not knowing what I've done, who I've been with, or where I've been; it is terrifying.
I have lost the girl i love because of my black out drinking. I become a completly different person. My anger goes through the roof and i will say the most awful things. Im not sure if there are things i am upset about and my subconscious takes over but it has ruined my life at the current time.
I began drinking hitting the club scene early in life everything was fine then it got to the point of having (total) black outs one night at the club i was having drink after drink i was with my sister and a couple of her friends well the last thing i remeber was standing near the womens restroom waiting for someone next thing you know im waking up in someones house that i totally didnt know there was a guy sleep on the couch and beer cans everywhere i looked for a phone and then left and used a payphone to call my sister to see what the hell happend she answered with a "what the hell happend to you last night we looked for you everywhere" to make a long story short i met a chick who was wasted she tried to take me to her place and ended up getting pulled over and went to jail for a dui the cops let me go and i guess i walked untill i saw a party and crashed there cause i was few miles away from the club we were at and its a college student area so theres partys around all the time. till this day i still wonder what happend at that house and how i got there because my chest was sore also i dont drink like that anymore
@Helpme
I did the same sort of thing 3 weeks ago. I went to a wedding. drank far too much, upset the brige and grooms family and basically acted like a complete lush. I cannot remember a thing from 3pm onwards. You have to prove to yourself that you dont need booze. Have a month or longer off it. Dont dwell on what you have done because deep down you know that it wasnt how you usually behave. I HATE my evil twin with a passion and the only way to stop her making an appearance is to calm down the drinking...
I read all the posts and noticed that a lot of you are shy when sober, this seems to be a common denominator, but not all seemed shy. I am also a little shy normally and like to be slightly loosened up as much as possible. Unfortunately that does, and did, lead to alcoholism.
Another thing I noticed is the outcry for help in remembering and the need for help in dealing with what happened, and yet there are few helpful words posted just stories and experiences. That's human nature though. Let's see if I can do a little of both.
I don't know if there is a way to get those memories back but I am going to do a little more research to see if they are there, and just not linked for recall, or if they are gone completely. In my experience the only way to get them back is to have someone trigger them by filling in some gaps, then you can have flashes which can be short or long, you never know. So in answer to many of you, as painful as it may be, you have to go out and ask around, follow your own trail and put the pieces together, apologizing as you go.
Unfortunately, you can tell that I have had some experience in this area. I have always had the tendency to blackout when I drink too much. However it is not necessarily associated with bad behaviour. Just like any other drunken experience, sometimes I am an ass, idiot, flirt etc. and sometimes a comedian and fun drunk, and sometimes they tell me that they didn't even know I was drunk, just feeling good, but I still can't remember a thing (sometimes fragmented)! Normally I function as I normally would and make normal judgements and conversation but I just can't remember it in the morning. Even if I remember something from an hour before, after the alcohol hits me more, it's like my memory starts to erase backwards even.
A warning to all you fellow blackouts, I think there could be long term effects. My father drank regularly and started forgetting and then eventually it got worse and he's in a home now and doesn't remember anything, sometimes five minutes ago. I've noticed my all around memory is getting worse. It's scary. I am making a conscious effort to drink less and hopefully get it down to one drink at night before bed and never any more, except for dinner with friends and social stuff, maybe two drinks. I might have to quit completely and that scares me 'cause, like many of you, like I said, I am a little shy.
I could tell you tons of stories but wont, except for last night. It happened again (that's what prompted me to start searching). My wife and I went for dinner with friends and I had a coupe drinks before we left, because I was proud that I had gone all day without a drink, on my day off (you see we live in Mexico and every day seems like a celebration with all the tourists around, fiestas and Margaritas flying, beaches and crowds). Before we ate I had a shot of tequila and a glass of wine, we ordered a couple bottles so I had another with dinner. Now normally I can drink a bottle of Vodka myself and sometimes still remember everything, but I barely remember leaving the restaurant.
I definitely agree that it has to have something to do with the speed at which you consume the alcohol and how abrupt that is on your system, so I will never be able to do shots again or rush drinks, knowing where that will take me.
I also realize now from many of you that something shocking will be easier to remember, because this morning my wife told me I drove home but she thought something was up 'cause I first backed up into a stand-up metal blockade (I don't know what you'd call it, it's like a giant sawhorse made of steal). In my defence, it wasn't there when they told me where to park. I clearly remember hitting it, the loud noise it made and the attendants shouting. That's the last thing I remember.
I woke up this morning, wondering what to do with my second day off. You know, at first you don't really think to make a recall check, so I just moved forward with my morning. The cat is crying outside so my wife says let that stupid thing in, would you? Now I am checking to see if I am naked, wondering if we had sex, but I sleep naked a lot anyway. Now I realize that I don't remember going to bed. My wife seems really pissed at me and the cat so I said, "That #$%^ cat spoiled our morning I was going to put the moves on you." She says, "I don't think so, I am still pissed at you for last night!" Oh oh, here we go! What did I do. I guess I insisted on driving drunk and yelled at her for yelling at me about driving over the gaurd-rail thingy, and just acted like a total asshole. Apparently we had a vicious fight (verbally). Now since she wants to go back to sleep for a while, I thought I'd grab my computer but I can't find it. I asked her if she knew where it was and she told me it was in the spare room where I was sleeping. Flash, I have another memory! Oh yah, I went to, one of, our son's old room to be alone, or watch videos or smoke one of his cigarettes, who knows. So I go to the other room and sure enough there is my computer. When I look at the bed I have a flash of a picture in my mind. When I go on the computer I find I was watching some stupid Youtube video about flashing girls at Mardi Gras, and I remember watching it.
Thank god I'm married and thank god I came straight home because those are the conditions where I might do some really screwed up things if we still went to bars and stuff a lot still. I probably would have started a fight with someone and/or my wife and gone our separate ways and led to way more trouble. As it is, I guess I eventually passed out then came to, and went to bed with the wife. Sorry nothing exciting to tell, I just remember how dangerous it is under different circumstances. I have done some stupid things in the past, even spent a few nights in Jail in Mexico, no fun at all.
So what have we learned? Don't drink fast, don't drink too much or don't drink at all?!
If you want to remember, be your own detective, back-track, interview. Be aware it could lead to early memory failure, nobody wants to be that person! Thanks for listening, good luck.
the bad thing about Blackouts are, we don't remember if we ran someone off the road, or hit someone walking on the side of the road. Think about this before you drink and drive. I wonder sometimes what would I do if I found out that I killed someone during a drunk. I haven't drank now for 3 1/2 years.Blackouts aren't anything to jest about.
This past weekend there was a family event. Prior to this family event, I've had a serious of blackouts where the outcomes have been painful for me. They haven't been consecutive. It's been more like in the time frame of seven years if not less. I received a DUI, my parents came to pick me up in jail one time because I was picked up drunk (but not driving). One time, i woke up naked. I had no underwear and I was standing in front of my car when I came to. I look back to just those moments and I feel completely ashamed. In my mind, I said to myself, that's it. No more drinking like that! It doesn't feel right. However, this past weekend, I was with my boyfriend and my family. The entire family was having such a good time! Everybody was dancing and talking. But then, the following day came around and I realized that I had a few black outs through out the night. My boyfriend is very upset with me because he comes from a background where alcohol has brought a great deal of negativity. Knowing what my boyfriend has told me about his past and me knowing my past and having a recurrence of a moment I never thought I'd have again, makes me feel ill. He was very harsh with me the following morning. Now, I am afraid that because of my stupid behavior of not drinking responsibly that it might cost me my relationship. I talked to my family and my family for the most part seems to be ok. They said that we were all having a good time and that a few of us were drunk but that all was fine. Nothing to worry about. However, I do worry because I don't want to be a negative memory to my boyfriend. I have finally found someone worth being with and it seems that my destructive behavior crept up on me and now the consequences of it may be detrimental for me. I have to say that alcohol for whatever few times it has impacted me drastically has caused some emotional damaged. I have a belief that when blackouts occur. Whenever we can't refrain from drinking once we are buzzed is a sign of some past psychological trauma. For all of us that have come up with a story in here, we need to start healing. I feel like crap, i hate it but i need to love myself more. I hope he doesn't leave. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me.
this page was really helpful in not feeling alone with this problem, currently charged with felony property damage I don't remember doing. Sick. American prisons don't look fun and I'm half way through a degree in Ireland that will be wasted if I'm incarcerated in September. Not to mention the money this going to cost my broke ass. The shame is incredible. I sympathise with everyone who says it feels like they become someone else when they drink too much. Normally I'm calm and considerate but when I'm drunk I genuinely don't know what I'm like because I can't remember. Not only that but both Friday nights after said incident I blacked out again, thankfully no trouble but still scary that I have apparently learned nothing. Someone suggested I give up alcohol and try cannabis if I need a drug, this idea appeals to me but I'm worried I'll just be substituting one drug problem for another. Best of luck to everyone/anyone reading this with sorting yourselves out. I wouldn't recommend AA to anyone, but have no issue with anyone who thinks it helped them.
this happened to me last week at a family get together. I lost about 40 mins, but not all together. There were moments within the time that I remember, but other things I don't. I don't remember saying goodbye to anyone, but I do remember I was told that we were leaving. I am so upset that I id something stupid in front of my family. I only had 3 drinks, but it was mixed drinks which I never usually drink. Anyways I remeber sitting there, then getting up to go to the bathroom, and this is where it gets fuzzy. It seems that as soon as I stood up the alcohol went straight to my head...I am struggling with trying to remember what I was saying or doing in that time frame.....I promise that I would never get drunk around my family because I don't want them to every see me drunk...however I feel that is exactly what happened.
Yeah, i have been drinking since i was about 14. Im now 19 and its really getting out of hand. I would like to slow down immediately but when every one of my friends partys, its hard for me to keep a limit for myself. And thats when I end up blacking out and hearing all the stupid shit i did the next morning. Id like for everyone to be fine at a party without liquor. But hey i guess thats too much to ask.
My family has a long history of alcoholics. I remember my father was a good man when he was sober. He was a gifted speaker. A deacon at church. A drug and alcohol counselor. I remember him driving a green datsun on the red river at 50 mph with me in the bed of the truck crying. I remember each telephone visit with him behind the grease covered glass window at multiple prisons. I remember him loading a gun and shooting at my mother in our country kitchen. He tried to rob a store one night while he was drunk. Stuck a sawn-off in his pants with the safety off. He went to pull it on the clerk and blasted his own leg off. Doctors amputated everything below the knee. I remember the very last time he went to prison. He had me on his lap and he was crying. We could both hear the police sirens coming down the country road. I asked him, "Dad, why can't you quit drinking? If you know you're gonna get in trouble, why don't you stop?" He just shook his head and said he didn't know....He killed himself when I was 11 years old and I still don't know what was going through his head. When you have a drinking problem it affects everyone around you. You create your own personal hell. Regret is a powerful force. When you know you shouldn't continue, yet you still do, you are making a choice to let things get out of hand. I used to ask my mother when I was 10 or so if I was going to become an alcoholic. She said that was up to me. It is. It's up to me. It's up to all of YOU as well. It is a choice to drink. I'm not saying it's easy to quit. I'm not saying the desire won't be there after ten years of abstaining. You know if you have a problem. I know I do. I sit here at 4:20 a.m., age 24 now, drinking, typing this to all of you...and all I want to do is stop...I keep making the wrong choice. Please make the right choice...
so thats what happened last night....
any method known to try and prevent blackouts or minimise them?
@john-
There is a method to prevent blackouts. It is called self-control. It is very hard to achieve with alcoholism, though it is possible. Even if you're already to the point of extreme physical dependency, it is always possible to regain self-control...just not likely.
We're always looking for another way for much too long.
I crashed my car while in a blackout and can only remember the impact and sound of the crash. I have been blacking out for 20 year.
i just recently stopped drinking, mainly because of blackouts.
the storys people were telling me of what i did are emberassing to say the least, unable to walk, talk, fighting with any thing that moved and my atitude around woman while drunk was appaling. is there any tips anybody can give me to help take my mind away from drinking,all my friends tend to "live in the pub". i got myself an xbox for online gaming. but a games console has nothing on the social side of drinking. is there any thing i can do as a substitue to social drinking.
We've all found this thread for a reason.. Sumthin to think about in itself. I'll admit I've had my share of blackouts never fun. These stories I've read them all have helped. My favorite peice of advice was changing your state of mind on your drinking habits, not setting your goal to get drunk but rather drink socially and slowly on a full stomach. I've been trying to figure out this rubics cube for years there's no simple answer. Quitting is one option I suppose. Best of luck to all. Cheers
Just recently lost a good friend due to blacking out. Won't even tell me why just sent a text that my numbers been blocked. I think its unfair that some people can drink so much and blackout and just fall asleep or not act like a complete ass. Guess some of us just weren;t meant to drink.
if someone is blacking out on a increasingly frequent basis there is a problem.
of course most drinkers have had a night they havent fully remembered, but it becomes a problem when one becomes unable to stop drinking into oblivion.
Just because alcohol is a legal drug does not mean it is not an addictive or dangerous drug.
I really don't know what to do!..... I went out for a friends birthday Saturday evening starting with a quiet meal at 8pm. And i come home the next day, 9am, bare footed, unable to speak, in a state! The thing is this isn't unusual unfortunately. My friends give up on trying to keep up with me at a decent hour. I join other groups. Or go with some guy to an after club, someone else to another after after club, i can't seem to just say its time to go home, i never want the party to stop once i've started drinking. I guess being drunk or out of it lets me be rid of my inhibitions, i feel like a child again, no ties, no thoughts of bills or adult responsibilities, and i feel sexy for a split split second that i am in a happy drunk state in the club dancing with my friends confident and happy. BUT it ends horrifically. The times i look back and see how i've put my life in danger, i've never been raped from what i can think i remember from years of these nights out. But who knows! This can't go on! Sunday morning i come to my senses around 8am, i'm in some dodgy guys basement flat with all these scary characters about and the guys expecting me to sleep with him and i just run, like my life depends on it. Four hundred pound shoes i saved up for left, a friends jacket, my purse, phone the lot. I'm not thinking! A taxi picks me up and i can't speak, i'm trying to say things but they won't come out, i'm in tears at how i've got myself in this mess again. kindly the poor guy takes me to a police station where i'm so ashamed of my state after hours of trying to find out where i ran from and asking me if anything happened to me i don't want to get anyone in trouble its my own fault. They managed to get someone to bring me home. Now two days later i think i can go outside my door at least. I'm so ashamed! So many people would have seen me in a way i wouldn't dream them to see me in my day to day life. Men allover me. Probally drugs, drinking, without my shoes, out of it!! I can't let this go on. Its ruined friendships before because friends stop me going off to dodgy parties with strangers and I've argued rowed sworn at them to leave me alone. That i'm happy drunk and want to enjoy myself.
I know drink lets me forget my problems or feel like i have no worries and gives me confidence but i don't think i'm an alcoholic. I never really drink at home, while i know friends who will happily drink wine at home on their own, it doesn't interest me. I solely drink for social reasons. But i can't control it. I don't want to say i don't drink and not put myself in situations or environments where a glass of wine is involved at social engagements because this will really limit my social life. A drink at a group barbecue, a friends birthday meal, etc etc all these situations involve a drink to loosen up and join in the atmosphere. But i know it will never stop there, how can i control this? I wish i had a friend close enough to me to i don;t know, go out with me and help me to learn to not do this. I need to keep control of it like everyone else. I feel like theres no way to make this work. It makes me so sad. Because i know in a few weeks i will be again in this same situation, messed up, embarrassed myself, not been able to control it.
Someone please tell if you have had a success story with this :(
alright I got a question. I had my first blackout a little while ago. I was wondering, how can person carry on with conversations and do stuff, without even realizing theyre doing it? Its weird. Like people were telling me about some of the conversations I was having and the things I was doing.. Even when your doing other things such as alcohol. for example, i took pills one day(never will do again) and one of my friends was telling me that i was talking about coconuts and saying "I wonder if coconut trees grow in Colorado".
stupid drunks. simply stop drinking. I hate you blacked out pathetic losers at clubs and concerts. You are responsible for all your actions even when you are drunk. Grow up.
pppffff....
guys can someone help?i had a blackout. i came home at 6.a.m and i can recall only a few "snapshots".i put money somewhere and i cant remember where?????
damn!
is there any way to recall easily?
i was searching the house almost day
p.s there is no way i lost them.i hid them somewhere
My family has alcohol problems and I guess I kinda do too. Before reading this I didn't think I had a problem I just like to drink. I've been drinking since 14 (now) 19 I've done soooooooo many things I'm ashamed of. While drinking I'd do drugs, etc. There were even times when people spiked my drink. I've slept with people I can't remember I've said hurtful things to my loved ones. I've passed out on the middle of a road. I completely wrecked my room Woke up and there was broken glass and throw up everywhere. But most recently was the worst. You would think I'd learn the first time? I didn't this was the most horrible thing that could happen to me. I went out with several friends and we were all drunk. I continued drinking more and went who knows where with who knows who. I was far away from home couldn't walk or talk apparently. I was found the next morning passed out on a street. Who knows what could've happened to me! To my knowledge nothing did, but then again I don't remember. I got robbed that night ambulance came then took me to the police station. When i woke up the next day i immediately checked my phone. I have gotten several numbers and talked to one in particular. Im scared to call & know what happened because i currently have a boyfriend and it would kill me if i found out i cheated. I've gotten to the point where I wake up and don't know how the hell ive gotten home. I run outside all the time to make sure I didn't wreck my car. I've gotten to the point where I've lost my keys and don't know how I got in my house. Lost diamond rings & earrings. Cheated on others. I only drink at home now because I do not trust others I've been taken advantage of so many times. This last month I've improved alot. I used to drink everyday a lot. 2 or 3 bottles of wine 15 bottles of beer or about 10 or more shots of liquor. Now I am drinking 2 times a week and only with people I can trust. Blacking out is not good! We need to stop it is ruining our lives because who knows what can happen to us or do to others!!
Oh I forgot to add that night I woke up with bruises and scabs throughout my body cuts and bumps on my skull. It was so scary I even got in to a physical fight with an ex where he choked me and I was gasping for air! There are so many things I can keep on going about
I use to be a party animal but not now If I only have a few drinks like jack and coke 3 of them I blackout, Dont do that much thats really silly but hate that I cant remember even if I`m at home having a drink I do the same blackout gone. I`m told I just get on like myself just talk alot it is now scaring me. I love to have a wee drink but hate the not remembering. Just reading some of these post has made me more worried than ever. Think the only thing to do is to stop drinking. Thanks people.
You guys are so boring....If you don't like people who drink then don't spend time with them. Don't condemn everyone who drinks to have a good time : /
yesterday i went to a bar and after drinking from ther i felt asleep and dont remember nothing. so some one put someting in my dring and intosicated me ?
i get blackouts all the time now 5 pints and im gone and it dont come back.i like stoped drinkin for a year but up to that time i could have 10 drinks and a great night had.now its 5 pints and i cant look at anybody.tink ill just pack it in no fun any more.
M3 & M@HHH B3$t FrAnddd G0t Bl@ck30ut Th!$ W3ek3nd!!!!!! W3 w0ke Up !N @ R@nD0zz B3d!!!! WUT DAAA FUcKKK!!$#*@$@#&%$*# At L3a$t W3 WeR3 T0geth3r.... LAULZ
wow feels good to know am not the only one...am a high school senior i started drinking a lil wen i was 16 at dances 15's etc... something i found out quickly is that tequila always made me black and just the other day me and some friends had a big party beer pong, some of the hottest girls in town ,etc and i was amazed i didnt black out at all but i started drink heavily and frm 10-1 in the morning i was at the pong table me and my partner had a 8-2 record and we lost once more and we started just relaxn next thing i knw i take one more drink of beer and boom!! i wake up at my house 1 pm i freakd out called my friends i told them how i got home what happend well ..here comes the story of the blackout i was in my truck i turned it on and my and my friends where abt to go home we where fuckd up and i supposbly put drive and the started fightn playn around over some hot cheetos well i had it in drive and that i knocked out as the drink was still driving and my friend had left the door open he tried jumping in he said i was going 10-15mph hour and when he jumped berly got n and slipped and he fell out .he was on the ground my other friend ran picked him up and then went into the light.. he was bleeding he had to be taken to the e.r room he got 10 sticks on the side of he's head u could practically see his skull where he bustd it wide open ...weird thing is a blackout so bad i dont remeber none of that and dont remeber driving NOTHING AT all scary...idk what to do shuld i stop drink totally!...or just take it easy and drink 2 or 3 and limit my self and have waiting periods each beer 10mins later?
thank you this has enlightened my views, last weekend i had a black out i remember up to the point where im drinking with a few friends and waking up naked in my room with everything i was wearing missing and a towel that i have no idea where it came from and numerous cuts and bruises covering my body. a few of the girls that were there told me i was flirting with them and iv had other memory cues from people that were there but i cannot recall any of the events. is it possible to remember any of this or is it all gone with that night and the person generous enough to give a naked man a towel ?
This happened to me last night, however when i blacked out, Ive been told i was very different. I was yelling alot and been very aggressive. I was a completely different person. I do not remember a thing either. One of the scariest and embarassing nights of my life.
I went out last night with some friends and got really drunk I left the club at 10:45 and didn't get home until 11:45 (according to my wife) and I had totally lost the hour and have no idea how I got home. My house is a 30-40 minute walk or 10 min taxi ride.
I have no cuts and bruises, or aches or anything. all I know is that I went to a cash machine and took out some money (by looking on line)
All I keep thinking is how did I get home and did anything happen...my Brain keeps playing tricks on me like could i have I had a fight or attacked someone or smashed something up or insulted people.
I'm generally a nice bloke these things are really not in my nature.
Does anyone else's brain play tricks on them and think the worst.....surely you would remember something really significant?
Blackouts don't only happen to alcoholics. I don't remember a thing that happened friday night even though I was told all about it the next day. Friday was the first time I had ever had alcohol.
@Scott
I totally relate. Actually this has just started happening to me lately. I like a beer and I like a nice cocktail occasionally and like you I am generally a nice person. As a matter of fact I am told by others that I am too nice. Before about a month ago the last time that I blacked out was a few years, I've been really drunk but I've never lost time before. Anyhow, on this occasion I think there was only a brief bit of time I don't remember and nobody really told me I was abrasive with one exception, my friends old roommate. Evidently I confided in her that I thought my good friend (her old roommate) was pretty much a hooker. Well the thing is that at this point I had only drank beer and hadn't had anything to drink for oh about an hour and a half, I clearly remember this conversation and know that I didn't say this but nonetheless it put some real doubt in my mind about the rest of the night.
Well, I abstained from drinking for some time until this last weekend when I went back to my hometown for a few days (3,000 miles away). I got piss drunk with my buddies and went to the only bar in town. I lost track of time somewhere in the bar but remember just bits and pieces. Most of the pieces I remember I was actually pretty calm but it's the uncertainty of not knowing for sure what happened that makes me a little crazy.
Speaking to mind tricks, my mind has convinced me that I text messaged my friend and reaffirmed that I thought she was a hooker, posted something worse on facebook and likely sent out a school wide email while drunk. I checked my cell phone the next morning and thankfully I didn't send any messages nor did I make any phone calls and as far as I could tell no emails or facebook messages were created. I didn't trust myself though and actually checked my recent usage on my cell phone plan to confirm that I didn't just delete the evidence (why I would delete the evidence I don't know). Anyhow even after I confirmed this, I still think that I must have used a friends computer or cell phone to call or send the message. Yeah, do you think this sounds paranoid or what? On top of these worries I'm pretty well convinced that I must have picked a fight with someone at the bar or done something even more disgusting. I should note that I do have a blackeye from that night and it was from a punching match with a friend. Oddly enough though I remember that event (he doesn't) and we actually immediately laughed and ended up drinking gin on my friends blood covered floor. Eh, it's good for a laugh.
On the flight and since I have returned I continue to convince myself that I did something really wrong. Why are my friends being so nice to me? Why does it SEEM like people at school are acting weird towards me?
Anyhow Scott, I totally get what you are saying and have come to the following conclusion for myself. I'm typically a very nice person and no matter how drunk on whiskey I get and how much underlying stress or machismo exists, there still has to be one brain cell left suggesting I stay the course. I didn't wake up in jail, I had all my credit cards and with the exception of an explainable shiner, I have no signs of violence. Additionally my friends still talk to me and wanted to hang out again while I was in town. So I don't think I did anything that bad. As for the remorse, it's because I am a nice guy and am easily embarrassed so just the inkling that I may have done something regretful causes me pain. Additionally, I've also come to the realization that beyond community functions, most of the people in the bar in my hometown or other places likely aren't in a position to be good judges of character. Those that go to a bar just to watch the action are ok but they should be silent once they leave the bar. Those are the ones that get you, the "chatty cathys". Anyhow, I've babbled long enough. The long and short of it is that yes there are people that get the same remorse and I feel a lot better after writing this.
the last couple of times ive drank ive blacked out and dont remember anything the last time was saturday night when all was well then i was told something nasty about my girlfriend that sober i would have laught at but it brewed and i lost it smashed up the house said some awful things to my girl friend that i dont think or belive and ended up fighting with a good friend all of which i dont remember and im really close to losing my girlfriend who i adore and want to marry i think she is starting to hate me and i dont blame her, she says its not the drink its how much i think it be best to stop drinking can anybody give me any advice and you dont need to tell me im a plank but i need to do all i can to save our relationship and show i wont let her down again
any help?
any help?
I have blacked out many times (am 43) and been drinking since i was a teenager. Black out usually when I drink far too much (although I can drink far too much and not black out). I don't change personality, get aggressive or say anything I regret, although I do share personal things that I wish I hadn't! t's scary to black out but only because of safety.
I am turning 40 soon, and recently was arrested for DWI. I am so ashamed as this is my second time The first one was 3 yrs ago, and I thought I had a handle on it. Whats crazy is that I dont get drunk often. I'll have a few drinks with friends on the weekends but rarely getting drunk. In fact, In an average year, I would get drunk maybe 3x.
Unfortunately I live about an hr from where I was raised and many of my friends still get together. So when I go to hang out, I have always been able to watch my drinking and get home safe. In many cases I would crash there, or stop many many hours before heading home, etc. The first time I was taken in, was a shocking event for me. I immediately cut back on my hanging out, drinking, etc. And eventually I guess I chalked it about to me having to drive a long distance and making a bad decision, etc. So over time I resumed normal behavior which again, is not really drinking heavily. Then over the past year(2011) I have had to do some traveling. And since I wasnt driving, what has happened is that I have started having black outs, and acting like an asshole. What has been really confusing me is that there will be a 2-3 month gap between trips. And within that gap, I will have had a beer here and there. Maybe a few glasses of wine with dinner, etc. And no problem. All very spread out and not often. But then when I would go away, I guess I would binge drink and then black out. Well recently I was arrested again. Wasnt driving all over the road, no accident, but was speeding 10 miles over the limit. Obviously I deserve whatever penalty I get and I am just glad I didnt hurt anyone or myself. Again, I am so ashamed with this.
I guess my interpretation of a drunk was always someone who needed to drink every day. But, I could easily go a month without a single drink, (and have gone that long) but then when the environment is 'Right'....I will drink too much too soon, resulting in a blackout and then me acting like an asshole and obviously feeling like I can drive.
Next step is to speak to an AA counselor and get a handle on this, so that I understand the pattern better. Again, I have drank my whole life and never experienced what I am now. Blacking out is very new, and shocking for me because I dont really drink often.
Cherrs Russel reading your comments made me feel better. Also 5 weeks have passed and I have moved on from the whole episode. Luckily using the power of technology I was able to track my movements (card transactions and calls made) and now I'm pretty sure nothing of any significance happened.
So to sum up it appears your brain can play nasty tricks on you. It has really scared me and I have taken it on board and have slowed right down. I have a wife and a son and I need to set a good example.
Reading through all these posts, I sympathize with all of you. I go through 1-2 blackout episodes a year. Most of them have been with friends who have let it slide, but the last two have been with business colleagues. Took me a year to make up for the incident last year, and I did it again two nights ago. Antagonized a lot of colleagues, ratted out people who have committed ethical violations and have been agonizing about the incident ever since. I've realized I can't hold my drinks or enjoy them responsibly anymore, even if I'm getting drunk only once a year. It's gonna take me a long time to get my dignity back - no more alcohol for me. Forgiving yourself is the hardest thing - especially when drinks make you something you're not. Unfortunately, you can't go back in time to correct your mistakes. I only hope not to repeat them again. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've never been one to get blackouts when drunk, but recently I've been getting really major ones, when drinking wine.
It's got to the point that I woke up this morning, and my ex was in my bed, and I barely remember meeting up with him, and I don't remember having sex with him at all (and apparently it was incredible sex, which is quite annoying). It worries me that if he hadn't been there in the morning, I wouldn't have even known I'd had sex, and I just thank god that it was him and not some randomer.
how can you tell the diffrence between having a blackout and being drugged???
Iam 24yrs old and hate myself becuase I have been drinking a whole lot lately and can relate to alot of the comments posted....the worst thing I have did was lie, then realizing it......now im embarrased.....hasa nyone offended someone who is incredibly bigger than yourself? then cannot look them in the eye or avaoid contact with them when u see them? I live unfortunately in a small town so everyone knows everyone, I am about 120 lbs while on the other hand the person i had offended was my babysitters mother.......I was telling some people at a party that I think my boyfriend slept with the babysitter now im embarrassed, and he was totally mad. I needed to tell someone, because it is bugging me. because I know its not true but I dont understand how i could lie sometimes for no reason.
On exchange, Been blacking out almost daily, sometimes like 10 days in a row, funny thing about it is I can still hold good conversations and charm people and stuff. Just wanted to say two things. Firstly, let everyone know that you blackout. It's helpful because your mates don't expect you to remember things or give you a helping hand on a night when they think you might already be in blackout. Secondly, in terms of this fear people have after blacking out, one thing I have noticed is that after blackout I cannot distinguish between dream and real life. Things I dream I think may have actually happened when in fact they didn't. same with things I imagine. For example, if when I'm out I imagine having a fight with someone, or I imagine sleeping with a girl, and then I proceed to black out, sometimes the visualisation i previously had seems like a memory, and I think, yeah, maybe I was in a fight, or maybe I did sleep with that girl. So basically, unless someone tells you you did something bad, you could easily just be feeling guilty about a dream or a thought. Good luck all!
When I start drinking I rarely stop, and because of this I blackout very frequently when drunk. Recently there have been quite a few incidents where I have done things completely out of character (caused property damage, been inappropriate with girls, insulted family and friends). I think I need to get the idea out of my head that alcohol is for getting drunk. Personally I believe my drinking is an act of escapism, since I'm not exactly at a great point in my life and I hide many things. Alcohol is a social lubricant but at the moment it seems to be destroying all of my relationships with people I care about. What is even more devastating is worrying about the fact that some people heavily judge me on what I did during those blackouts. I am not saying blacking out is a 'get out of jail free' card, nor am I refusing to take responsibility for my actions. At the end of the day I had no idea what I was doing, I had literally poisoned myself to the point where I couldn't consciously decide morally on my actions and their outcomes. I don't believe I am an alcoholic, so in the future instead of getting wasted quite quickly, I'm going to take the advice from this thread and drink slower, and not to 'get drunk'. If any of the people I disrespected ever read this, I want you to know I'm deeply sorry.
I'm a sophmore in high school,135 poundz and 5'6.I dont know what to do...So last night i got drunk af and only remember up to a point...and i woke this morning in my bed with diff clothes on and all tagged up and bruises i'm scared shitless. :/ Im kind of a heavy weight and didnt think i was gunna get too drunk,Between me and a friend i was sharin a G with i had about 1/2 of the bottle and smoked a bowl..I dont know why or how but almost everytime i drink i drink to the point i blackout. or i'll fall asleep then someone wakes me up and i dont remember a thing. Its gotten me into alot of trouble. I hate it i'll sit there trying my hardest to remember. Or the ppl i party with will tell me shit ive done nd not remembering, it really bugs me but i never can remember. But i know i aint a alki but in my family we have quite a few includin my mom who is a recovering alcoholic,but whenever she drinks she lets me have a beer or two with her, does this mean i will too? or do i have a highher chance? I just want to drink but not to the point of gettin too faded. Is there a way to snap someone out of blank mode? I just need an ansawer, please help me out here
I experience Total Blackouts after having a number of drinks. Intervals, ie 5 drinks in one hour probably due have more of an impact.
The odd part is that I act normal. My friend's around me may not even be aware of the intensity of my intoxication. I'm wondering how much damage am I doing to my body. I know it does damage the brain but how much.
Compared to falling over from skiing, sneezing, a migraine.
Does ANYONE know what it means if someone forgets the memory of their significant other while extremely drunk?! My boyfriend had no idea who I was at thee end of our night out and this memory loss lasted 4 hours.. we live together and have been together for a year plus have known each other since grade school. It was as if the last year didn't happen in his head! No he was not on any drugs at all. No website has given me any legitimate answers! Any possible reasonings would be helpful! Thanks!
I went out last weekend with 3 of my friends while been at the club I remember everything even when we went to her house to keep drinking more..I decided to drink wine after drinking like 5 beers. I was talkin to my friend about my ex when I was gone and from there I can't remember anything at all how I got home and I ask my friend and she won't telle what happen..I feel bad cuz I can't believe that happen to me I guess my boyfriend and I broke up and he won't talk to me anymore.
I started drinking very fast and was angry about things, this didn't help as you lose control of reality. I went down town, allegedly and have NO recollection of going. Very scary feeling, I know I'm a sensible guy at times and know I would never get mad, but to not know the nights events have seriously given me a wake up call. My life will change from now.
Im so sick with worry :( I drank way too much quickly then decided I was hitting a club after my night out. I just remember saying bye to everyone and the next thing I rem is waiting in a taxi queue to go home I think? And then I woke up. Im so worried i don't know how i got into town as the money i left with was still in tact when i got home? What if someone has took advantage of me??? IS there any signs I could tell by? Nothing was missing when I got home it seems....and no stains or anything on my dress etc. But I can't be so sure if nothing happened if some guy saw me or picked me up in his car and drove me into town who knows what could have happened?!?!?
Look, a black is dangerous to the person having it, and can also be to those around them. If you are blacking out all the time, you may have a more serious drinking problem. Just because you may not be a full blown alcoholic doesn't mean you don't have a problem that needs to addressed. AA's only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. If you've blacked out enough and done enough stupid things while drunk and in a black out, chances are you will get yourself to AA or some other program because eventually, you are likely to be in a lot of pain, or feeling a lot of shame. There are MANY different types of alcoholism. In my opinion, it's a miserable way to live...
meant black out, obviously... also, I hate this article because it encourages problem drinkers to think, "oh, it's okay that i"m blacking out and doing horrible things, cause I'm not an alcoholic..." what a bunch of crap, I feel sorry for the binge drinkers who are still in denial about their problem and read this. Who cares about the label? More importantly, how is excessive drinking affecting your life, or the life of someone you care about?
I was at a Christmas party with my boyfriend and drank wine. I was fine until my boyfriend's friend poured me vodka. I don't remember anything after that except puking out the car door on the ride home. I woke up in my bed trying to remember saying goodbye to people but couldn't. My dad and sister told me that I was flirting a lot with my boyfriend's friend right in front of him. I called him and he said I was and is obviously pissed about it. I feel so bad. I used to think that blacking out was bs and the person was lying or using it as an excuse, but now I know it's real. I'm left with having to deal with the consequences. It's so creepy to have people tell u about things u did and said and have no recollection of it.
I've done just about every horrible thing possible short of killing someone. I blackout pretty much every time I drink...even if its 2 beers. I have woken up with broken toes and fingers, I punched my husband and his friend in the face, I threw up over my balcony onto my neighbors head....I have to stop drinking I feel horrible and I'm sick of having to ask people the dreaded question, What did I do last night?
I had a black out on Christmas day. I can't remember a thing about what I said to my partners brother or his parents. I then drove home. Needless to say my partner is no longer so it must have been bad. I am going to get help as this seems to be occurring nearly every time I have a drink. I didn't even have any recall when I was confronted about it. I hate myself as this is not the type of person that I am.
Far out, NYE i blacked out, Its usually on the big nights when you just smash it all down without a care or just having a good time... 6 hours of the night... gone...
Lesson: Always keep in the back of your mind... to not go all out! This will make you always take a step back from getting too hammered and youll have a much better night that you can remember!
I black out pretty much every time i get very drunk. Knowing this people record me talking crap and i cant believe it when i watch it back the day after.
I had the worst black out ever last night and dont remember a thing after about 10pm. The very last thing i remember is having the strongest shot ever then waking up. There are photographs of me lying on the floor outside. I think i'm gonna stop getting silly drunk from now on.
I got drunk last night work up fully dressed in bed and thought i had had a nightmare. i had gone to my neighbour's and drunk load of brandy and her friend turned up and i started on her as to why she had not rung me. She had my number from a funeral we both attended. my neighbour is old forgetful she said i was fine. But i managed to find the telephone number of her friend and rung to apologise for being so rude and how mortified i was. She was fine about it. But i am not letting her being fine about to get me off the hook. Cannot remember half i said. fine
I can relate & sympathize w/ a lot of these posts. I have blacked out so many times thru all of my drinking yrs, that I have lost count. The next morning is always HORRIBLE b/c I never remember what i said, what i did, or if ppl are mad at me...it's just so embarassing & i feel so mad at myself for letting it happen yet again. I have made a complete ass out of myself @ get-togethers and i'm so embarassed when i have to go around these ppl again. I get frustrated with myself and it causes problems in my relationship b/c i say extrememly MEAN & hurtful things to my boyfriend, that i am sure leave scars in his mind(i've even punched him)...he always has broken up w/ me over these incidents, but ended up staying with me thru it..but it has been difficult. He even has called the cops on me once when i was drunk b/c i wouldn't leave. And it's horrible b/c i'm blacked out when these things happen and i only remember enough to know it was a bad night.
Went downtown with two friends, drank an entire bottle of Kentucky Deluxe whiskey, got mugged. Drunk pussy friends abandoned me, so I started on the 12 mile walk home. Last thing I remember was talking to some guy with really long, greasy hair about the bus...next thing I heard was the "beep beep beep" of the machine they use to monitor your heart rate. Apparently they found me about 15 miles in the opposite direction of downtown from my home, which is where I was walking to when this happened. I had road rash on my face and was laying in somebody's front yard passed out. I have no idea who I was with or what happened-but my friend's prescription for Suboxone (a heroin withdrawal drug), which had been in her hoodie which was on me, had either been stolen or lost. This definitely was not a nice part of town. Scared the living shit out of me
I read somewhere that the memory loss is due to a hormone in the brain that gets messed up from drinking. It said you can easily eliminate blackouts and improve memory in general by taking nasal sprays of Vasopressin every few days. Never got around to trying it, so I can't say for sure. I am sick of being reminded about what I did while I was drinking, so I might give it a try. Then again, maybe it is a benefit that some things stay forgotten?
I woke up this morning and went to class the gym and then class again. My dh wasn't answering my texts. I got home and found one of his undershirts ripped to shreds by the couch where I woke up at 4am b4 moving to bed. I said "sorry" In a text and he asked why so I pretended like it was sent to the wrong person. Why the hell would I rip his shirt up? I think I gave him a bj???? Should I ask? I'm kind of in the clear right now....
First, i have to confirm blackouts have nothing to do with being an alcoholic. I only drink socially, otherwise i never feel the urge to drink.
But at times, social drinking results in binging, and thats when i experience total blackout. It didnt bother me at first, because i apparently behaved normally till some days ago when i woke up and i was told i took a crap over all the house. Needless to say how embarrasing it was since i cant still even remember anything.
I have made up my mind to completely quit drinking or reduce it to the barest minimum.
Oh you guys, I definately feel better after reading all of these stories. Of course it doesnt make me think that getting drunk and blacking out is OK, it just reminds me that I am not the ONLY mad schizo drunk in the world - and feeling so alone and like 'WTF is wrong with me' is the kind of thing that leads to you getting depressed and turning to drink, so I truly believe forums like this ARE very positive.
I am a stupid drinker, I drink when I am nervous or shy round people I dont know, and then I act like a mental, which means the next time I see them I am even MORE nervous, and drink more to combat the anxiety and then act like an even bigger mental.
I am 32 now and been stupid drinking since I was 13. Its definately connected to how you feel in yourself before you start drinking,if I am with people I feel comfortable with I can drink loads and not behave like a moron, but as soon as I am somewhere I am not comfortable, thts when the problem drinking begins.
I blackout often, sometimes its just a bit confusing, like after just a couple of glasses of wine, not even drunk, but when I wake up the next morning I cant remember the conversations I had the night before, but i know I wasnt being mental.
However, sometimes it is terrible terrible stuff, sometimes I have the odd flashback, but sometimes I have just a big chunk of total darkness in my memory. And the shame is crushing. I once went to a party and was very uneasy about it, I was bored and not happy, but it was on a damn boat so there was no escape, so I just got hammered. I dont remember anything, and there are some AWFUL pictures of me.
I am usually a nice drunk, I tell people how much I admire them, and get all huggy, or I am a funny drunk, and do stuff like dance on tables or run around just being silly.
The big problem with me is drunken promiscuity, I dont actually do it anymore, but am still haunted by things that happened when I was younger. I have definately been taken advantage of, and unfortunately I can remember more than I would like to of some really shameful and gross things. I think its feeling crap about myself, having a drink, and latching onto someone who is showing me attention. I once went to a party in a hotel, again, I wasnt feeling happy in myself. Had a blackout and 'woke up' (fromthe blackout, I had been conscious the whole time) and I was naked in a bath in a hotel room. I felt like Sam Beckett in Quantum leap when he leaps into someone, I literally had no idea what was going on. I heard someone moving around in the bedroom, and I could tell I had had sex, but I had no memory of it AT ALL, and had no idea who I was with.
I was soooooo lucky in this situation, because I was with a guy I had known for ages, and really liked, and we actually ended up having a relationship for a while, but he was so upset when I eventually told him that I had no memory of having sex that first time, as he said I had seemed a bit drunk but like I totally knew what I was doing, and he had asked me, was I sure, and I had been like "hell yeah!". He felt horrible, like he had taken advantage - and he is sooo not that kind of guy, and becase he really liked me and thought it was the beginning of something really special, as we had apparently been having a deep and meaningful for ages in the bar before going upstairs together.
Things like that are as bad for me as doing fucked up retarded shit when I am wasted, as I feel like I miss the good parts of my life!
Last night my friends threw me a birthday party, it was so lovely, it was so much fun. I drank a fair bit but not loads. But I cant remember half of the night, and I am so gutted, my friends are talking abotu stuff and I'm like, what? where was I when you were playing crowdsurfing? and they're like, er, you were the one crowdsurfing...
I have been assured by everyone that I was on great form, and being lovely, and it is so annoying not to be able to remember it. Also, due to the countless occasions that I have woken up realising I have once again lost it on a night out and feel guitly and ashamed, I think thats my go-to psychological state after a party, so even though I was great last night, I have spent today with a horrible feeling of dread, thats like, physical. Its horrible.
I have done things to help myself, I avoid situations where I would feel uncomfortable and want to drink through it, and I have stopped drinking wine as I find that it ALWAYS makes me go completely insane and blackout.
Most times I drink I have a nice, fun, safe, cool time, I know the problem isnt simply drinking, its the context I drink in.
To the woman who found her husband and daughter-in-lw having sex, firstly that must have been horrendous, and my heart goes out to you, that is a devastating thing to see. I am sure it must be hard to feel any sympathy for them, but I KNOW that they are both feeling a million times worse. They will be utterly mortified, and are probably both hating themselves much more than you could ever hate them. Drinking with someone and sharing sad stories is a very very partcular thing, people drinking together like that tend to get into a little bubble, and remembering sad stuff makes them very sad, and having someone there who seems to understand and offer comfort is as intoxicating as the booze is. Things seem a good idea to you when you are drunk that you would NEVER normally do, things that are incomprehensble to you when you sober up.
I really hope that you and your family can recover from this event, I sincerely wish you all the best. I wish all of you the best. Please dont ever hate yourselves though, as tht makes it all worse. You have ot address the stuff you have done, but if you give yourself too much of a hard time, you will begin to lose self esteem and then lose the motivation to change your behaviour.
ps, it baffles me as to why some people pop in and put completely inane and unhelpful comments, especially on streams that are about people who are feeling crap and trying to find support. Its just so pointless.
Everytime i go out i am terrified of whats to come.. I dread everytime and always tell my family and friends to keep an eye on me. I can relate to everyones post above. Everytime i go out i wake up either in a cell or in a strangers house. I take cocaine also as when i hit the drubken stage i feel the need for a perk me up. Being irish does not help either as its like a bloody tradition to drink over here. I like to have a drink and so does my partner, its gone to the stage now where i have to drink in my own house like an animal caged up for the night. I cant even remember when i go to bed its so bad. Im actually afraid of myself right now that some morning i will wake up in a cell with a charge for murder. I know your all thinking WELL GIVE IT UP THEN! I agree but its tough. Why cant i just go out , have a few beers and go home remembering everything the next day?? This is really getting to me lately, i need help!
well yesterday was superbowl sunday and we went to my brother in laws house where my hubbys favirite uncle was there and i hadn't seen him in years and i was so excited and remember taking 2 shots then remember yelling at my other brother in law then woke up this morning at home with a huge bruise on my back. apparently i went to the restroom and didnt pull up my pants and opened the door and walked out then fell dead weight flat on my back with my pants around my ankles. mortified. im not 21 anymore and should never drink hennessy again. sooo embarrased everyone saw except my brother in laws thank god. thank god my husband isnt mad either.
Anon 3 years ago
What happens if you drink an incredible amount, but don't fall asleep?
I am talking amounts that usually make one blackout/pass out. Are you more likely to remember events?